


A Marine Called Bucky

by piefight



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AKA Buffy, Alternate Universe - Military, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Vietnam, Anal, Blow Jobs, Bottom Steve Rogers, Bucky is Really Buff, Everyone is just Dealing, Fandom Attitudes for Steve and Bucky are kind of Reversed, M/M, POV Steve Rogers, Period Typical Attitudes, Plot is Pending, Porn With Plot, Rimming, Sex as a metaphor for War, Sorry Not Sorry, Steve and Bucky are both 19, Steve is a TOTAL size queen, This ain't the Stucky you grew up with, Top Bucky Barnes, Unreliable Narrator, War as a metaphor for Sex, like a lot, lots of peen talk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-13
Updated: 2015-06-15
Packaged: 2018-04-04 03:36:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 35,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4124227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piefight/pseuds/piefight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I started to get the sweats as the night wore on. He should have been there an hour ago. My guts tightened at the thought that maybe something had happened to him. </p><p>As always, I tried to shrug it off. It was something we both understood and lived with — him, obviously, more than me. He was the Navy SEAL, doing covert ops. I was just an interrogator at Intel...we dealt many times with the guys he brought in. </p><p>I tried more than once to imagine how I would handle it if he didn't come back from one of those missions. </p><p>I couldn't even think about it without getting sick to my stomach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [perfect_plan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfect_plan/gifts), [OhCaptainMyCaptain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhCaptainMyCaptain/gifts), [TheMeaningofHaste](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMeaningofHaste/gifts), [BarqueBatch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarqueBatch/gifts), [RockSaltAndRoll](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RockSaltAndRoll/gifts), [Etharei](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etharei/gifts), [chaya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaya/gifts), [SkyisGray](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyisGray/gifts), [For being inspirations to me](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=For+being+inspirations+to+me).



# A Marine Called Bucky

### Part I

Chapter One

Waiting

I sat at the bar at Brock's, waiting and praying that he would show up, afraid he wouldn't. There was always that fear that gripped my guts when we were to meet up. Brock's Bar was typical of GI hangouts in Saigon; dark, smoky, not very fancy, with a few hookers, the whole package, except for one thing. Brock's also catered to gays. Not openly, of course. He didn't advertise it but word got around that it was safe for gay soldiers and Marines to go there. It was enough of a mix of straights and women that the MPs never bothered the place. Of course, Brock was strict as hell about flaunting it or being too obvious. Brock was a former Marine, big and muscular, one of the original advisors sent to Vietnam. He liked it and stayed. Nobody messed with him.

I watched every guy who came through the door, if only for a quick glimpse before he was shrouded in the darkness of the bar. Brock got me another beer without me asking for it. I didn't know if he knew who I was waiting for but if he did he didn't say so.

"Did she stand you up?" he asked.

"Too early to tell," I said. That was the way it was... a lot of times he knew better but you talked in heterosexual terms. It was a code; one that even the straight guys respected if they found out about you. It wouldn't have been that way in any other bar, but Brock was quick and quite capable of dealing with loud homophobia. One time there were a couple of guys who looked like raw recruits who came in with the sole purpose of finding and beating up gays. They didn't make any bones about it; they were there for fun. They talked to each other loud enough that others could hear, as they looked around and tried to guess if this or that guy was gay. Brock put a stop to it right away. Politely at first, till one of the stupid shits had the balls to ask him if he was gay, since they'd heard that he welcomed gays into his place. Brock played along with them. He nodded for them to follow him back to the rest room, with a real come on look. They fell for it. Moments later, there was a lot of noise back there, then the back door was slamming shut. Brock came back to the bar without a scratch. The other two guys came out, one embarrassedly nursing a bloody nose and the other one's eye already beginning to turn, and holding his stomach. Hell, anybody in his right mind would know better than to mess with Brock.

I didn't say who I was. Steve Rogers, 19, six feet even, 196 pounds, regulation jarhead, buzz-cut Marine. My 196 pounds were good, solid muscle. Most of us were; we had a workout room right in the barracks. The guy I was waiting on was Bucky Barnes, also nineteen but his 195 pounds were spread over a five-ten frame that made him look heavier, more muscular. He was Navy at the time, which I liked to kid him was a distant cousin to the Marines. More correctly, he was a Navy _SEAL_. Okay, you want all of it... he was _a sniper_. I thought of him as a brother Marine.

I started to get the sweats as the night wore on. He should have been there an hour ago. My guts tightened at the thought that maybe something had happened to him. As always, I tried to shrug it off. It was something we both understood and lived with — him, obviously, more than me. He was the Navy SEAL, doing covert ops. I was just an interrogator at Intel...we dealt many times with the guys he brought in. I tried more than once to imagine how I would handle it if he didn't come back from one of those missions. I couldn't even think about it without getting sick to my stomach.

 

~o~

Finally, he was there. I recognized his very masculine frame as he appeared in the doorway and his cocky, sexy walk confirmed it. He had incredibly wide shoulders with balled muscles that looked like soccer balls and big arms sticking out of a muscle shirt and his pecs protruded in two solid slabs of steak-thick muscle. He had a waist that made women jealous and his jeans shifted loosely around his waist, held up not by a belt but by his round, tight bubble butt. He sauntered up to the bar and slid onto the stool next to me with that crooked smile as if he weren't late at all. I didn't make mention of it either.

"You been waiting long?" he asked.

Brock brought him a beer.

"Only since noon," I said.

He knew I was kidding, probably knew I was covering up that I was worried. It would embarrass him that I worried about him. He turned full circle on the bar stool, I thought to check the place out and see if there was anybody he knew or who might know him. There was and he went over to a table to say hello. I was watching in the mirror over the bar. A waitress came up to the table with a half dozen beers and ran her cold hand down his bare arm. His arm was so big that her small hand lay flat on the muscle. He cringed from the cold and laughed and smacked her on the ass. A hooker came up to his other side and put her arms around his waist and squeezed his butt and said something in his ear. He laughed and squeezed her butt hard and she left. It was like that with him; with all Navy SEALs that I knew. They were quiet, unassuming heroes who took it all in stride. I could have been jealous except that I was happy in my own skin, and I marveled that he was as comfortable with me as he was with women. He came back to his bar stool with that sexy little twist and swagger in his hips.

"I was afraid you wouldn't make it," I said after first looking around to see if anybody was within earshot. There was nobody except Brock and he didn't matter but you had to be always on guard about everything you said.

"I did," he said.

As always, I had a hard time keeping my eyes off of him; especially his huge arms sticking out of his shirt. Damn, they were sexy. It was easier for me to look at him in the mirror but I was still cautious.

Bucky looked around the bar. "Did you get a room?" he asked quietly and casually.

I nodded. We talked for a while, bringing Brock into the conversation when he had time to join us. Bucky downed the rest of his second beer and slid the bottle across the bar with a finality that said he was ready to go.

"Hey, Brock, if those two girls show up, tell them don't go away, we'll be back," he said in a loud voice as he stood down off the barstool.

It didn't matter whether Brock believed there really were two girls. Somehow, I thought he knew better.

A few blocks away, down side streets and through alleys, was what was known as the Trent Hotel. It wasn't originally designed as a hotel. It was a two-story structure of unknown origin that had been converted to a maze of rooms and they put a hotel sign over the door. On the way, Bucky stopped off in a gift shop. I told him the room number, 238, and went on to the hotel. He would spend a few minutes in the shop then leave and go down the alley and come into the hotel by way of the rear stairs. The hotel clerk knew the routine. It wasn't smart for two GIs to be seen going into a hotel together unless there were one or two women on their arms.

I went up the stairs to the room. I'd already showered and gotten ready for him. I took a big dose of breath freshener and took off my clothes, down to my shorts, and turned the ceiling fan on low. It groaned softly as it came into motion then settled into a steady whir. I never turned it any higher because it was loud and swung around in wide circles like it was ready to take off.

The room was big but nothing fancy. You might say it was furnished for the needs it provided. The bed was wider than a single, with sheets and a thin blanket and two pillows. There was a tub and shower in the alcove bathroom off to the side, and a sink and mirror with a small window furnishing light. Large shuttered windows faced the street. Smaller windows faced the alley. The only other furniture was a straight-back chair. There was no dresser because people didn't bring bags to unpack. A single light fixture hung awkwardly off to the side of the ceiling fan.

I opened the shutters to let in warm, fresher air, and some light. I liked the natural light that shone in. I was waiting on the bed when Bucky came in. Sometimes I thought he kept me waiting on purpose just to build up the anticipation.

He double-bolted the door behind him and went over and closed the shutters over the windows facing the street. He left the windows open that faced the alley and a blank wall. He was always careful, afraid there might be somebody spying from a window across the street. He began taking off his clothes which always made me breathless, all the while with his eyes on me, and that thrilled me that he was so open about wanting me.

I loved everything about him; his looks, eyes, sense of humor, most of all his body. His triceps danced as he took off his boots and socks. He stood up and his arms bulged as he took off his pants. He climbed on the bed and knelt between my legs, still wearing his muscle shirt and his briefs. He crossed his arms across his chest and pulled his shirt up, his torso spreading out wide when he pulled it off over his head. I leaned up and placed my hands on his sides, high on the V where the finger-like muscles wrapped around his rib cage, then on up into his hairy armpits. He tossed the shirt aside and his pecs settled thick and heavy on his rib cage when he lowered his arms. Nice hair there, too, a spattering on each side around his tits then the neat, straight line down the center of his abs, disappearing under the waistband of his shorts. He hooked his thumbs in the waistband to shove his briefs down but I stopped him.

"Wait. Leave them on... let me look at you like this for a minute."

He dropped his hands down to his sides and knelt there, a little awkward, with a goofy, embarrassed smile on his face. I let my eyes rake up and down his muscular body, zeroing in on his tiny briefs. They weren't regulation, although they should have been. The military would save a lot of money on material if they were regulation. There was barely anything to them; two thin strips curved up over his hipbones trying mightily to support the weight in the pouch stretched around his manhood. They dipped down so low that you could see the curls of hair over the waistband.

"You ought to be on a recruiting poster," I said.

"Like this?" he said, laughing.

"If I was in charge of recruiting."

"Is that enough looking?" he asked, shrugging his heavy shoulders.

"Yeah. Are you getting anxious?"

"You know it.”

He shoved his briefs down and lifted each knee to pull them off. His big cock hung out proudly, not yet hard but thick and meaty, with a network of bulging veins. My breath caught in my throat. His cock was hanging low with a network of bluish veins under the silken sheath that gave it a bit of a gnarled, virile look when he was hard. He never got hard fast. It was like he took his time, no big rush, it would be hard when the time came.

"I don't know how you carry all that around," I said.

He laughed as he ran his hands up and down my thighs several times then tugged at my shorts. I rose up so he could take them off of me. I watched his muscles bulge and ripple and it was a moment of feeling ravished as he stripped me naked. He tossed my shorts to me and his eyes shifted to my own cock but didn't linger. He was just noticing, with no particular desire for it except that it made me a man and a man was what he wanted at the moment.

Bucky was straight, but in that first conversation at that first meeting, when we got around to sex, he had informed me that just because he was straight it didn't mean he didn't like sex any way he could get it. And that included other guys, if that opportunity presented itself. He was straight, but there was desire in his eyes.

"God, you look so good," he said as he leaned over me on his hands and knees and clamped his mouth over my right pec. I gasped and moaned as he flicked my nipple with his tongue then sucked on it. The bristle on his face felt good.

"Your tits getting bigger?" he snickered.

"If they are, you made them that way," I murmured.

They would get bigger with him sucking on them. Yeah, he did that to me just like he did with his women. He reached down and lifted my left leg around his hip and I lifted them both, tilting my butt up for him. He slid his cock up and down the crack of my butt, made slick with his precum. His cock was hard now. Hard and big. Hard and _huge_. I trembled a little inside with the familiar anticipation.

"I know you like some foreplay but I am so damned horny," he said, poking his cock at the slick hole.

"I've told you the foreplay is seeing you come through the door, watching you take off your clothes and walk toward the bed. It's all the foreplay I need."

"You're something else, you know that? So damned unselfish."

"I'll be anything you want me to be." I said I felt the pressure of his cock head against my clenching hole. He picked up my shorts and handed them to me. He was always afraid I would make too much noise. I never knew why it mattered.

"I'm okay," I said.

"I like to see ‘em in your mouth," he said.

I let him stuff my shorts loosely in my mouth.

"Sometime I'm going to bring one of my old jockstraps for you to chew on," he said, smiling.

 _Oh, God._ When he smiled, I went weak in the stomach.

He pushed and I pushed my asshole back at him with that little twinge of fear that always came over me the moment before I was about to be penetrated and impaled on his cock. I tried not to remember the pain. I could feel the awesome power behind his sex, drawn from his tight, hard butt muscles. Suddenly his cock popped through, leaving me wide-eyed as it always did when he entered me, a lot of it from the excruciating pain, some of it from the sheer anticipation of the pleasure that I knew would follow. He barely paused before he sank all the way in me, up to his balls.

"Ohh, Goddddd!" I moaned softly, muffled, as his cock throbbed deep inside me. The weight of his balls felt wonderful against my butt.

"Ohhhh, Fuucckkk! I've wanted this so bad," he gasped. He held still with his cock buried deep in my guts. "You okay?"

I pulled my shorts out of my mouth.

"You always ask that and what do I always say?"

"But I know it hurts," he said. "You tell me it doesn't hurt. But you can't hide it, hard as you try."

"It hurts like hell, but not for long and it's nothing I can't handle," I assured him, giving him a lopsided smile.

He squeezed his butt muscles several times, forcing his cock to nudge at my innermost being, then slowly he withdrew most of the way then slid back in several times; then he set his rhythm and he was fucking me.

"Ohhh?.Ohhhhh?.Awwhhhh, Godd!" I moaned softly.

"Ohh, yeah—you are so hot and tight," he whispered.

"That's a true miracle, considering the size of your cock stretching me," I sassed.

"You must have muscles in your shit, to be so tight after all these times," he laughed. "And so alive! Fuck, it feels like a bunch of tiny fingers in a satin glove squeezing my cock."

He leaned over me and kissed my chest as he fucked me with a steady rhythm. He kissed down my abs then back up across my chest and along the side of my neck. He had a light bristle on his face even though he had shaved. He always had it, and I loved it. I turned my face toward him a little but he moved back down my chest. He always avoided my face and my attempts to kiss him. He rose up and looked down at his cock going and in and out of me.

"Fuck, that is so hot!” He gasped. “Watching your asshole squeeze around my cock, watching your hole stretch and pull out when I pull back. Looks like it's gonna turn inside out."

"Sometimes it feels like it," I groaned, brow furrowed in pleasure.

He leaned down and began kissing my chest again. He really liked my nipples. He loved making them swell so he could suck and nibble on them. He kissed back and forth across my chest, down my abs to the safety point where he didn't get too close to my cock, then moved his full lips up across my chest to my neck. His lips sent shivers all through me. When he was kissing up my neck again...lingering there—I broke the spell.

"Why don't you go ahead," I said.

"Go ahead and what?” he asked.

"Kiss me. I think you want to. It's all right."

He trailed his lips back down to my chest and sucked my tits again. Then he raised his head and looked at me. His thick, powerful neck was so sexy and it made me weak inside. He was so handsome.

"I wish you hadn't said that," he said hoarsely.

"Why?" I was afraid I'd fucked things up. I well knew how macho he was and maybe the idea of two guys kissing turned him off. We had never done it before.

"I was afraid you wouldn't want me to," he said.

"How come you didn't want me to say it?" I asked.

"Because now there's nothing stopping me.”

He lowered his head, his face close to mine. His eyes shifted all around as if he were trying to recognize me, then his eyes met mine. We gazed into each other's eyes for a long moment. I think it was a moment of indecision for him, maybe doubt.

"I may never do this again but I want to do it once, see what it's like," he said.

I think I whimpered when his lips brushed over mine, or maybe it was him, or both of us. I didn't kiss him back at first. I didn't want to appear too eager; I wanted him to lead the way down this new path of pleasure. I wanted the experiment and the experience to be all his, because the doubts were his.

He flicked his tongue out and traced it back and forth on my lips. I let them go slack and he took my lower lip between his lips. I whinnied softly as he washed it with his tongue. When his lips parted, mine were parted to welcome his tongue. When our tongues touched and sent a shiver through me, I began kissing him back. He lashed his tongue around mine and I sucked it into my mouth. It was definitely him who squealed when I did that. It turned into a long, experimental kiss, with more passion than I think either of us expected. It was almost more an act of love making all by itself. Finally he broke away with a tiny gasp, his head hung, his eyes half closed.

"Jesus, I wish I hadn't done that," he said.

"Why?" I tried not to visibly panic.

"Because I think I liked it."

"You liked it but you didn't want to like it," I said dryly.

"It was hotter than any kiss I remember with a woman.” His expression was inscrutable.

"I guess I shouldn't say I'm glad,” I grinned.

His steel grey eyes—God, those eyes—stayed fixed to mine for a few silent seconds. I thought—hoped—he would start kissing me again. Instead he bent me more in half, my legs spread out wide, and pressed his body down against mine. Our muscles strained and flexed and slid together with our sweat, barely cooled by the soft whir of the ceiling fan. He fucked me, using long, steady strokes, his great cock gouging out the inner-most depths of me. I was always amazed how I was able to take his huge meat so deep. I wrapped my arms around his broad, powerful shoulders and hung on. I kissed the hard column of his muscular neck.

"You feel so fuckin' good—your hard muscles...it's so different from the softness of a woman," he said.

"The Vietnamese women are so tiny it's like tossing a rag doll around. With you, it's more like a challenge; somebody who can give me a run for my money."

"Careful what you say, you might get to liking it too much," I joked.

"I already do," he said, laughing. "And sometimes that scares me."

He fucked me hard, he fucked me gentle, he was on the way to fucking my brains out. He didn't toss me around like a rag doll; and I gave him a run for his money.

"I gotta cum. I wanna cum so bad," he whispered. "I'll fuck you again but I have to drop this load I've been carrying around before I implode."

"Give it to me," I breathed out.

He picked up his pace and I hung on for dear life and clamped my open mouth against his neck as he pounded me unmercifully with his big cock. The bed creaked and swayed with his motions. I wished he had clamped his mouth over mine so we could have kissed all through his climax but I would not initiate it.

I held him tight, his muscles flexed hard and rippling, till suddenly he gasped and moaned and trembled and half sobbed. It took a long time for him to empty his balls; he had a lot to cum. I fought to hold off myself. I knew he would want to fuck me again pretty soon and I wanted to be ready and still primed for him. He hovered over me, his great chest heaving and his abs rippling with his heavy breathing. Beads of sweat dripped off his forehead.

"How long have you been saving that?" I asked, holding him close with my arms and legs around him.

"Since last time with you," he said.

He slowly withdrew his cock and toppled off to lie beside me, as if he didn't want the intimacy now that he had cum. He was sometimes like that. He wasn't exactly loving when we were together, especially after, and I was surprised when he shoved his arm under my pillow and pulled me close. Even under the pillow, his arm was so hard it was uncomfortable and I moved my head off his bicep, onto his shoulder.

He needed this _so much_.

Part of his sexual intensity was the release of all the pressure that he had to leave behind. It was as if all his fears and emotions were drained out of him when he shot his load. It was hard for me to imagine Bucky being afraid of anything but he told me he was—terrified—when he was out there, and I thought he felt safe when we were together.

"It's always so intense after so long a time," he said.

"The last time was only a week ago," I said, rolling my eyes.

"You don't know how long my weeks are."

"No, I don't. I don't think I could do what you do," I said. It was the truth.

"Maybe, but what you do is just as important. It wouldn't do me any good to bring them in if there wasn't somebody skilled in getting information out of them."

"There must be a lot of them you don't bring in," I said softly.

He paused.

"Most of them I don't. They've been brain washed to believe that you'll torture and brutalize them and most of them just want to be taken out. But it's their call," he said nonchalantly. "All they have to do is drop their weapons, drop to their knees and put their hands on top of their heads. Except if they've done anything stupid, like killed or wounded one of our guys. Then I don't give a fuck what info they've got, they're wasted."

I could feel his muscles tighten even as he talked.

"You're just doing your job," I said, trying my best to comfort him. I never knew what to say when he talked about it.

"Yeah, fuckin-A-right, just doing the job. And I'm damn good at it," he muttered. Then he changed the subject. "I'm sorry I was so selfish and I went off so quick, but I really needed it," he said.

"I could tell. You were so intense."

"I'll fuck you again and we'll take our time. I'll find your spot and drive you up the walls."

"You do that anyway," I said honestly.

We lay quietly for a long moment, staring up at the ceiling fan.

"You know, sometimes, when I'm laying out there waiting for a shot, I let my mind drift back to the time before with you," he said. "Sometimes I think that's what gets me through it."

"This is the first time you've even mentioned outright that you're a sniper," I said.

"Yeah, sometimes I do sniper duty. I volunteer for it. I'm a good shot and I've got the patience, I feel like I have to do it. Best in the squad, probably the best in the whole company." He paused. "Maybe not something I should be proud of, but I am."

"Why shouldn't you be proud of it?"

"Well, it's not something you can write home to Mom about," he said.

"Actually, neither is this," I said with a quiet laugh as I rubbed my hand across his hard stomach.

We were quiet again for a moment. But it was one of those times when Bucky seemed to want to talk, while at the same time he didn't want to.

"I know what you're wanting to ask me, but after all this time you never have," he said.

"And I won't ask."

"And I won't answer you. I will tell you, so far I've never had a miss," he said with a steely determination in his tone.

"I can't imagine doing what you do. I wouldn't have the courage."

"It's not a matter of courage. It's not like that. It's a matter of doing what you've been trained to do."

"I know, you always make light of it. You all do."

"What do you want me to do, strut around, bragging? I don't need to. You know I'm a stud without all the bravado," he said with a mischievous grin.

"You don't have to brag that you're a stud. It's tattooed on your forehead,” I said with an eye roll. “You're also a hero to a lot of people, including me and there's nothing you can say to change that," I told him seriously, hoping he’d believe me.

"Is that why you take such good care of me?" he asked, laughing.

"You need to be taken care of and I like doing it. Call it my contribution to the war effort,” I shrugged.

"Fuck, you're a Marine just like me. You make your contribution," he said.

"I'm a Marine but not like you. You're Navy. The Marines only pays your salary," I joked.

"You guys love rubbing it in, don't you? You like to make it sound like we're the bastard kids at the family reunion."

"Sometimes you act like the bastard kids. But that's what makes you SEALs."

"I don't feel like a hero when I blow some poor guy away when he doesn't even know I'm there," he said in a somber, husky tone. "There's a feeling of power that surges through me sometimes, but it's nothing heroic."

"You're doing what you were trained to do," I reminded him. "And he must know you're out there, somewhere, waiting."

"But he doesn't know where, or when." He quickly changed the subject again. "Are you ready? I'm ready to start some more maneuvers," he said.

"Yes." I was always ready for Bucky.

"Prepare to get fucked, Marine," he said as he rolled over on top of me.

"Yes, sir!”

"I got mine, this one's for you," he said as he probed my ass with his hot, stiff cock.

And it was. He made it good, as only he could do. He probed at my insides from all angles, twisting his lean hips around in circles, making his large cock lob around inside me so there was nothing untouched. He concentrated on making it good for me as only he knew how.

“Oh-ohh! Ohhhhh... Ohhhhh," I gasped as his cock slid repeatedly over my prostate.

"I found it, didn't I?" he said with a grin.

"Oh, yeah... ohh, fuck yeah...Like that!...Ohhh fuck me!"

He fucked me for over an hour the second time. He always lasted longer after his first nut. He fucked me like a machine, as if he had no feelings in his own body, like his brain was on auto pilot. On my back, he folded my body in half and pressed me like a hamburger, so tight I could hardly breathe. He truly did make it all for me. He exhausted me. I was a whimpering mess, almost sobbing from the pleasure of it by the time he made me go off.

"Ohh, God...Ohh, Bucky—Bucky, fuck me—fuck meee.... _HARD_ …Ohhh, yessss, do it—awwwwhhhh, you're making me cum!"

My cock quivered as it shot out great spurts of cum all over my shoulder and chest and stomach. He didn't shoot. I felt his cock still throbbing inside my mushed-up ass after I'd shot off.

"Jesus, it feels like that thing's still hard," I said.

"Yeah, it is, but it don't matter."

I laughed.

"Feels like it matters a lot," I said, squeezing him with my ass.

"Hey, sometimes I am in control of my cock," he growled.

"Maybe, but not often," I chided him.

He rose up on his haunches and looked down at our juncture.

"I don't think your ass wants to let me go," he said.

"Then don't go," I said.

"I think you've had all you can handle," he smirked.

He slowly pulled his cock out and my asshole clenched the air before it began to close up. It always amazed me that it ever did close up after being stretched and battered by Bucky’s cock. He lay beside me and we watched his cock throb, glistening with our juices. He gave me his arm as a pillow. His bicep was big enough but just too hard to be comfortable; but I didn't tell him, and I didn't move off of it this time. Instead I let my head tilt down so my face was nuzzled in his armpit. The hair was damp and he smelled good, of fresh sweat and a trace of deodorant.

We dozed off for a while then Bucky got up and showered. I waited on the bed. I wanted to shower with him but he didn't invite me and I didn't suggest it. I hoped that he would sometime, in his own time. All things in his own time; like when he'd kissed me.

"Got everything all nice and clean for you," he said, smiling, as he came away from the bathroom drying off, giving special attention to his manhood. I leaned up across the bed, ready to take him.

"Naw, you don't have to. I was just kidding," he said as he kept drying off.

He never understood; it wasn't a case of having to. I wanted to. I always wanted to. God, how I wanted to give him pleasure every minute I was with him, every way I knew how. With his back to me he bent over to dry his legs.

"Oh, damn, I wish you wouldn't do that," I moaned.

He laughed over his shoulder. I moved over and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Back up here," I said.

He stepped back and stood squarely in front of me. I ran my hands up his thighs to his butt.

"You can go ahead and dry your legs," I said.

When he bent over his buns spread open, revealing the dark aperture of his most secret entrance, half hidden with a soft flurry of protective hair. I leaned in and pressed my face against his butt and began licking the crevice.

“OH—Ohhhh, man!" he moaned softly.

I flicked the hole with my tongue and licked his ass till his legs were shaking and he had to grab the chair for support. I pulled his butt apart and drove my tongue through his hole.

"Awww, fuck, I love it when you do that!" he cried.

"You damn near broke my neck the first time I tried it," I reminded him.

"I didn't know what the fuck you were doing!” He defended.

I dove lower and licked his balls, then went back to his ass. He spread his legs wider. I wanted to crawl into his body and I think he would have let me. Finally, he couldn't take it any longer. He straightened and turned around. His cock hit me in the face. I dove for it and began sucking him.

"Ohhh, yeah—suck it, Steve—ohhhhh, you got me so hot eating my ass...I wanna come again—suck it, Stevie…ohhh, fuck, man, suck it... don't stop!... I'm gonna cum again—ohhh, take my load!"

I was amazed at the volume of his second load. I swallowed and washed his cock with my tongue before letting it go. His legs were shaking as he crawled up on the bed.

"Fuck, you turn my legs to jelly," he said.

I’m sure a shit-eating smile spread across my face.

I went to shower. I was still swallowing the taste of him as I showered. He surprised me by coming into the alcove to talk while I was in the shower. Not about anything important; nothing about his job, but it was nice having him there, watching me, like he wanted to be close to me. We got dressed but didn't check out of the room, in case we wanted to go back.

We left and went back to Brock's. We took a table by the dartboard instead of sitting at the bar. I thought maybe Bucky didn't want to talk to Brock, didn't want him to be asking questions about us. Not that he would. Nothing was said about the women who were supposedly going to meet us. I thought Brock had figured us out by now. We sat and drank beer and I reveled in Bucky's company and dreaded the moment when he would leave. We laughed and joked with guys throwing darts and once when he shifted under the table his foot touched mine and he left it there and I could feel the pressure. When the dart game was over he straightened in his chair and leaned in a crouch over the table.

"Tell me your ass is twitching for more," he whispered with a leering grin.

"It is now," I said, and it was.

"We didn't check out of the room," he reminded me.

"No, we didn't," I said.

He downed the rest of his beer and so did I.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More filthy sex. But don't worry! The feels will come. It's just that the emotional slow burn is... well, slow. 
> 
> (Note: A lot of the sex, here and in the future, will feature potentially problematic sexual attitudes/politics, most are period-typical, but some is born out of externalized/internalized homophobia. Steve, our unreliable narrator, will not acknowledge it nor his part in it, but yes, Steve and Bucky will definitely be perpetrators of said attitudes/politics.)

Chapter Two

The Sailor

We were back from the hotel-still not checked out-and Brock brought us a couple more beers, with a thin smile on his handsome face. He didn't say anything, just set the beers down and smiled and went back to the bar.

"He thinks he knows something," Bucky said. 

"It's pretty hard to fool Brock," I said. "I figure he's known for a long time." 

A young sailor sauntered up to the table like he knew us. 

"Hey guys you want some company?" he asked as he slid his hand down his left thigh casually brushing his hand over his crotch. "Okay if I sit down?" 

He was cute as hell, slender but well built, filled out his whites real nice, and he'd already had a little too much to drink. He shouldn't have been wearing his uniform in Brock's and acting like that, though. It was too blatant. 

"Back away from the table while you still can," Bucky told him in a low, threatening tone that surprised even me. 

“Hey—okay, no harm done, man. I just thought…,” he stammered as he moved back and turned away. 

"You didn't have to be so hard on him," I said, shaking my head as the sailor walked away. 

"You want him, you go after him," Bucky said, rather petulantly. 

"Hey, I've got all the Marine I can handle right here," I said quietly, quickly kicking my boot against his.

"I'm Navy," he said. 

"You're just as much Marine.”

"He's dangerous," Bucky said. "Strutting in here in that uniform, being so bold with guys he doesn't even know. Brock ought to say something to him." 

"I think you just did, enough for tonight, anyway." 

"I'm getting bugged out in here. Let's go for a walk," Bucky said after a beat. 

We downed our beer and I paid our tab and we headed out. There was something exciting yet calming about being on the streets of Saigon late at night. The neon lights were like the midway at a carnival. We walked down the main drag and turned down a narrower street. Bucky wasn't saying anything so I didn't either. Sometimes, I knew he just wanted to be quiet. That was okay with me; I was always pleased during those times that he simply wanted my company. And when he wanted to talk, I liked that too. 

Another GI and a woman were walking down the other side of the street. Some guys came around the corner ahead of us; there were four of them and they were drunk. 

"Uh-oh, that's trouble," I said quietly. 

"They're too drunk to be trouble," Bucky said calmly.

Twenty yards from us they crossed the street. We walked on past them till we heard the woman let out a tiny scream, followed by a loud heaving groan. We turned around to see the GI staggering back against the wall, holding his gut. Two of the guys were dragging the woman off. The guy straightened as best he could and went after them. Without a word or hesitation, Bucky and I headed across the street. We blocked their way. 

"Let her go," Bucky said. 

"Or what?" the guy said. 

"You're going to wish you had," I interjected. 

The boyfriend joined us, tearing at them in a rage to get the girl away from them. 

"Cool down, we just want to share your pussy," one of them said as two of them shoved him down. 

"Let her go," Bucky said again. 

If they'd known him like I did, they would have let her go and run like hell. They didn't know that the calm in his voice was like a fuse about ready to set off an explosion. 

"What the hell is it to you? Why should it concern two guys out for a romantic stroll?" One of them said sarcastically. 

"Don't do this," I warned wearily. 

One of the guys holding the girl grabbed her between her legs and her boyfriend lunged again. I grabbed the other guy who was holding her and took him to his knees with a quick twist of his arm behind his back. 

“AHH! Fuck, you're breaking my arm!" he yelled. 

"Stop moving, it won't hurt so bad," I said, and jerked up hard to make it hurt worse. 

He yelled louder. 

Whatever else happened didn't register, it happened so fast. Suddenly a second guy was lying on the sidewalk, doubled over holding his balls. The girl was free and safe in the arms of her boyfriend and Bucky was methodically reducing the remaining two men to slumping heaps. 

"You need any help?" I asked. 

"Nope," he said as he landed precise and deadly punches at first one then the other. In a matter of seconds they both went down like two sacks of potatoes. I gave my man a shove toward the heap, jerking his arm one last time for good measure. I thought I might've broken it the way he yelled and slumped over his buddies. I didn't care. 

"You lovebirds stay right here, I'll have the MPs come and give you a ride," Bucky said. 

"No, fuck no, don't call the MPs," they begged. 

"What are you, Navy? You want the shore patrol?" I asked. 

"No, we don't want anybody.” 

"MPs it is, then," Bucky said. 

I could tell by his tone that he had no intention of calling anybody. The matter was already settled. I turned to the guy and his girlfriend who was sobbing uncontrollably. 

"You guys all right?" I asked. 

"I am. She will be," the guy said. "Thanks." 

"Hey, it was the most fun I've had all night," Bucky said. 

"Thanks, anyway. I hate to think what they would've done if you hadn't come along," the man said. 

"Well, we did, and they didn't, so why don't you take your girl to a nice quiet spot and have a drink before you take her home,” I said. 

"Thank you," the girl said with a bow as we were walking off. 

"Hey," Bucky said to me. He gave me a tight, mischievous grin. 

"What?" 

"That was a real adrenalin rush and you know adrenalin always pumps up my testosterone," he said. 

"What the hell do you want me to do about it?" I said.

"Hey, fucker, remember, you left me with a hardon back in the room," he said. 

He was right but it was his doing. 

"Sounds like a personal problem to me." 

"You wanna head back?" he asked me in a serious tone. 

"Do you?" I asked. 

"Yeah," he said. "Yeah, I do." 

I had thought we would walk around and then he would head back to his unit, but he was getting horny again and we still had the hotel room. Now I got the impression that he didn't want to go back to his unit. 

"You're going out again tomorrow, aren't you?" I said. It wasn't a question because I knew the answer. 

"Yeah." 

"And you need to get charged up before you go back to your unit." 

"I just need to know there's a world out there besides what I…" He cut himself off. "A world to come back to," he finished. "And sometimes—sometimes, man, you're pretty much it." 

We went back to the hotel for the time we both had left on our passes. I didn't know where he got his energy but he fucked my eyeballs out. But we spent nearly as much time just lying together and talking about nothing. 

"Wanna swing by Brock's for one more cold one?" he asked. 

We checked out this time and went back to Brock's. 

"Damn, I can't get rid of you guys," Brock said as we walked in again. 

There was a feeling of desperation, at least on my part, as I clung to each minute that clicked by. But the time came. Bucky looked at his watch and downed the rest of his beer. 

"I gotta be heading back," he said as he stood and shoved his chair back. 

I downed my beer and stood with him. He pounded his fist on the bar as we walked by, his good-bye to Brock.

Outside, we walked past the park across from Brock's and he stopped. 

"Hey, thanks, it's been great, as usual," he said. "Really great, man." 

"I wish you wouldn't thank me," I said. He looked all around, as if he didn't want to leave, and was looking for a place to escape. 

"You don't know when you'll be back," I said. 

"Hell, I never know where I'll be or when," he said. Then, “Well..." 

There was no bear hug, not even a handshake, but all the emotion that could have been in those physical gestures was in his eyes. That's how we always said good-bye, with our eyes. Suddenly, without another word, he turned and walked away. And like every other time, my heart sank a little.

He didn't look back--he never did--and I didn't linger in the street to watch him go. He would have been embarrassed over that. Instead I walked to the park and sat on a bench hidden by small trees and shrubs where I could watch him till he was out of sight, and whisper a prayer that he would be OK. 

When he was gone I headed back to the barracks. I was so sore from being folded in half and squashed by Buck’s heavy body that I could hardly breathe without feeling a strain. It felt like my ribs were crushed. When the guys at the barracks asked what was wrong, I told them I'd been in a fight and got hit in the ribs. 

The next night I went to Brock's because I couldn't stand to be in the barracks. I went the next night, and the next, and the night after that, until one night ran into another. I was waiting on Bucky although I didn't expect him to show up. But I went anyway because I never knew when he would come. 

The young sailor who had approached us several nights before came up to me at the bar but didn't take a stool. 

"I'm probably out of line again but I gotta ask, who is that big stud I see you with? You guys always meet up then leave together," he said. 

"We just meet up here, have a couple of beers, then he likes to go to the strip clubs," I said. 

"Any interest in a third party tagging long?" 

"No." 

"Are you speaking for him?" he asked. 

"I guess I am, he ain't here," I said. 

"Maybe I am out of line," he said. 

"Maybe you are." 

"But I'm not wrong…am I?" he asked warily. 

"About what?" 

 

"Just tell me, is he, uh....private domain, or....fair game?" 

"I thought he set you straight on that the other night," I said with a scowl. "Look, buddy, I wouldn't try what I think you're thinking. I wouldn't even think it," I warned. "He's a Navy SEAL, he could kill you with one hand." 

"How about you?" he asked. 

"What about me? I'm a Marine." 

"Good. Any interest?" he asked. 

I found myself weakening. The sailor was cute and nicely put together, and I was missing Bucky something awful. 

"Depends," I said. 

"On what?" he asked. 

"What you're interested in." 

"Anything you're willing to teach me," he said. 

My ears perked up when he said the words “teach me.” He was a kid compared to me, even though he was probably only a year or so younger, and he hadn't been in country very long. You could just tell. I figured he was eighteen, but he could've joined at seventeen. I smiled at him with half a scowl. 

"Are you saying you're cherry?" I asked. 

"Yes. I don't mean with women." 

"Even if you're not out of line, you're a dumb ass. How do you know I'm not undercover, or a homophobe?" 

"If you are, then I guess my ass is toast," he said. His smile really was cute.

My balls kicked in and I waved for Brock to bring us two beers. 

"I'm going to give you some advice," I said to the young sailor. 

"Don't be so bold and blatant. You're going to get yourself and others in trouble, and you're going to screw Brock in the process. Don't wear your uniform and come off like you did the other night." 

"I just wanted to make myself understood," he said. 

"Anybody that's interested will catch the vibes without you saying a word," I said. 

"Okay, thanks for the heads-up," he nodded his understanding. "I'm new at this. I'm pretty new in country, and I heard about this place." 

"It shows. They'll pick up those vibes, too," I told him. 

"Well, how about it, are you going to be my instructor?" he asked, that smile returning to his cute face. 

"Yeah, but with one condition." 

"Name it." 

"We do things my way, all the way, no questions asked. Like in basic training. Think you can handle that, sailor?” 

"Yes, sir. I guess it would be basic training," he said.

"You're talking about handling a Marine," I warned. 

"Yes, sir, I realize that." 

“What’s your name, sailor?” I asked between gulps of my beer.

“Parker, sir. Seaman Peter Parker.”

I smiled at his double entendre. 

"Okay, here's what you do,” I began. “You go get a room at the Trent Hotel then come back and tell me the room number. I'll be waiting on the bench at that little park." 

"Okay, but why all the intrigue?" 

"Lesson number two. You never go into a hotel with another guy, unless you've got women on your arms," I said. "The MPs and Shore Patrol are full of homophobes." 

"Thanks again for the heads-up. You're teaching me something already." 

"You ain't learned nothin' yet.”

The sailor followed my instructions and went to get the room. I was surprised that Brock had witnessed the developments. “Uhh—I don't want to intrude, but for the record, what do you want me to tell Bucky if he comes in?" he asked. 

"Tell him to wait. I'll come back here before I head back to the barracks, to see if he showed up. This kid needs some shaping up." 

Brock smiled. 

"And the Marines are just the ones to do it," he said, laughing. 

 

Yeah, Brock knew, and he was letting me know it. 

"Anyway, I doubt Bucky will show," I said, nodding as I got up to leave.

I went out and sat on the park bench by the pond. Soon the sailor came up and told me the room number; 214. 

"Okay, you go back to the room and wait. I'll come along in a few minutes." 

I walked to the Trent Hotel and went up the back stairs from the alley. I walked down the dark hallway and tapped on the door and a nervous sounding voice told me it was open. He was standing at the window, looking out over the streets, in his sock feet. I didn't know why he'd taken off his shoes and nothing else. 

"You shouldn't leave the door unlocked," I said as I went inside and latched it behind me. He seemed nervous, even as I sat on the edge of the bed to take my shoes and socks off. "Are you going to shed that uniform or stand there and stargaze?" I asked. 

"I was waiting on you," he said, as he shrugged off his blouse. He started on the buttons on his pants. He laughed. 

"They told me the reason behind all these buttons is it gives a woman thirteen chances to change her mind. They never said anything about guys changing their minds." 

He was very meticulous about folding his uniform on the chair. I said the kid filled out his uniform nicely. He looked nice out of it, too. He was small of stature but he was ripped and smooth as hell. Shit, he didn't have one hair on his chest. His entire body was tight as a drum. Including his ass. He had a butt to die for, at least what I could make out through his shorts. 

"I hope I'm what you want," he said quietly. 

"This isn't about what I want. You said you wanted me to teach you the ropes." I took off my shirt and pants and hung them over the chair. 

"Yes. I—I think I'm gay." 

"That's not something you want to advertise," I said as I peeled my shorts down. 

"No, I—I just wanted you to know I think I am. I'm wanting to find out for sure." 

"I sort of figured that out when you tried to pick me up," I said. I skinned my T-shirt off and stood naked. 

"Damn, you’re…incredible,” he said, eyes traveling up and down my body. 

"Thanks, you're built pretty good yourself." 

"What do you want me to do?" he asked after a beat. 

"I think we'll skip Sex 101 and come back to it later," I said 

"I don't know what you mean." 

"That means we're going to skip the reading assignments. You ever sucked cock?" 

"No." 

"Well, we're going to skip that for now and go for the good stuff," I said. 

"So stretch out on the bed, on your stomach for starters." 

"Oh, _man_ , you're gonna…f-fuck me?” 

"That's what we're here for, isn't it? You said you wanted to learn." 

"Yes, I—I want you to show me everything, but I… I thought…" He seemed scared all of a sudden. 

"You thought what?" I smirked at him.

"I thought we would start out with…well, you know, sort of just making out, like on a first date." 

"This isn't high school and this isn't a date, but if you wanna think of it as a date, it's a fuck date. This is a crash course." 

He was an eager student but he was scared. "Is it gonna hurt?" he asked as he was scrambling on the bed. 

"I won't lie to you. It's probably gonna hurt like hell at first for about a minute," I said. 

"I don't know if I want to do this. You're cock is so big. I never thought you'd be that big," he said. "I know, I don't have any choice," he added. 

“I’m not making you do nothin’, Pete. But we do it my way if we do anything at all. And… Getting Fucked 101? You gotta pass it to graduate, bud.” 

"All right, t-tell me...w-what to do," he stammered nervously. 

"On your stomach is always the best way to start, because your ass muscles won't let a guy get his cock all the way in you. On your back, you're spread wide open and he's pretty much got control and can go in as deep as he wants. You can be in control if you get on top and ride him. On your hands and knees, he's going to gouge your ass out." I was getting hard, imparting my knowledge to this kid.

“Okay.” He said, eying my dick. “Which way are you gonna do it?” 

"Just like you are, on your stomach. I don't want to hurt you any more than it has to. But first I wanna work you up to it." 

"How's that?" he asked. 

"Just stretch out and spread your legs and tilt your butt up for me, I'll show you." 

When he was in the position, I spit in the crack of his ass and wet my finger. 

"It's a good idea to carry some lube with you," I said. "You can buy it in little tear-open packets. All I've got is spit." 

He jumped when I touched his hole but quickly settled down as I began to rub it. He winced when I shoved my finger through but relaxed again when he realized it didn't hurt. I probed around for his love nut. I wanted him to get a taste of what that felt like so he would want something bigger than my finger. I wanted him to beg for my cock. 

"OHhhh!" he gasped with surprise when I found his prostate. "Ohh... Ohhh, goddamn!... Awwww, fuck what is that?" 

"That's your prostate. Feels good, don't it?" 

"Awww, fuck yeah....Ohhhhh, is this what it's gonna be like getting fucked?" 

"Yeah, you're gonna be begging for it," I said with a chuckle. 

I worked him into a frenzy, ’til he was practically begging for my cock. I positioned myself between his legs and aimed my cock between his cheeks but just rubbed the head up and down in the crack. 

"Are you ready?" 

"Awww, yeah. Give it to me. I want you to fuck me." 

"Don't forget you said that," I said. 

I plugged the entrance of his gaping hole with the head of my cock and he whimpered with anticipation. "God, I can hardly wait," he gasped breathlessly. 

I didn't make him wait. 

It hurt him when I penetrated his hole, just like I said, probably more than he imagined it would. His eyes popped open and he muffled his scream in the pillow but he held on and rode it out. He was a determined little fucker. I buried my cock as deep as I could, slowly, and held still to let him get used to it. 

"You tell me when you're ready," I told him. 

After a moment he jerked the pillow aside, his eyes still wide. He didn't tell me but I could tell the way he squirmed around under me that he was ready. I pulled back slowly, then shoved back in, then again, then I started fucking him. I fucked him slow and easy ’til he told me I could fuck him harder. 

He was a quick learner, or I was a good teacher. I fucked him for a while on his stomach then turned him over on his back, then on his hands and knees to demonstrate what I'd told him and to show him how much deeper I went in those positions. He wanted to ride my cock so I stretched out and let him get on top. I even fucked him standing up. He loved that. I pulled my cock out of his ass and made him suck it to demonstrate the importance of being clean, which he was. He didn't seem to mind that either. 

"Okay, I'm gonna shoot all over your face," I told him.

"And sometimes, guys like to kiss after that. Some don't, so don't do it unless they suggest it." 

"I don't wanta do that," he said with a frown, shaking his head. "I don't want to kiss." 

"You've had my cock in your mouth, fresh out of your ass. What the hell is the big problem with kissing?" I said. 

"A straight guy wouldn't want to kiss another guy anyway, would he, especially with come all over his face," he said. 

I had to laugh at that. 

"You get a straight guy with a few beers in a fuck-frenzy, you'll be surprised at what he'll do.” I straddled his chest and held his head firmly with my hands and told him to suck me and jack me off at the same time. He cringed with almost fearful anticipation. He was a good little cocksucker and he worked me up fast. 

Intentionally without warning, I began blasting his face with heavy streams of thick cum. I didn't have to hold his head like I thought I would; he took it like a man. Like I said, he was a good student. He even opened his mouth but I didn't know if it was by accident. When I was finished, I tilted his face in my hands and leaned down with my face real close to his like I was going to kiss him. He squealed, with a look of horror in his eyes but I think he was ready to do it. But instead, I rose up. I didn't want to give even a hint that I wasn't straight. 

"Yeah, right, you don't wanna kiss," I teased. 

It wasn't over. He wanted to learn and I was eager to teach him. We didn't make love; we had sex. Raw, hard sex. His stature made him easy to handle; I could almost toss him around like a rag doll. I wasn't brutal with him but I wasn't gentle either. I was determined to show him everything I could from the standpoint of a man; I showed him what he had to do to satisfy a man. If he thought he was gay, I wanted to show him how to be gay. For those couple of hours he was my slave more than my student. After I fucked him twice, I taught him to really suck cock, how to use his tongue to its best advantage, how to keep his lips between his teeth and my cock. He wasn't at all hesitant about taking my cock in his mouth. 

"A little more tongue," I told him. "Yeah, give me some head... slurp it." 

He got scared, though, when I tried to shove it down his throat. 

"I don't think I can take that? I don't see how it's gonna fit," he said. 

"It'll fit," I assured him. "I'll walk you through it. Try to relax your throat muscles, breathe normal, push your tongue way up under my cock and it'll slide right down your tongue into your throat." 

He barely attempted it; he kept backing off. 

"Okay, lay on your back across the bed, let your head hang over the edge of the mattress," I said. 

He assumed the position and I straddled his head and held it firmly in my hands. There wasn't going to be any backing out this time. I guided my cock into his mouth and sank it right into his throat before he knew what happened. He groaned in panic and tried to fight me off but I held on tight, telling him to breathe, and forced my cock in to the balls. He was practically screaming before I pulled out. 

"Jesus, you're trying to kill me," he whined. 

"You took it just fine," I said, smiling. 

"Yeah... yeah, I guess I did," he said with a proud smile. 

"Okay, let's do it again. And concentrate on breathing." 

"Don't force me this time. Let me take it on my own. I'll do it, I promise." 

And he did. He did a lot of choking and gagging at first but he mastered it and was proud as hell when he finally gulped it all the way down and his face was buried in my hair. He sucked my cock and went for my balls without being told. 

"Take it easy on a guy's balls unless he tells you to get rough," I said. 

"Do you like it rough?" 

"Yeah, chow down on ‘em," I said. 

The kid really did give good head.

He balked when I told him it was time to eat my ass. He said he wanted to try it, but he was afraid to. I figured the best way was to get him right into it. I stood on the bed astraddle his head and sat on his face. He groaned as I settled my butt onto his face. He was tentative at first, which I expected, but squatting down over his face like that, my asshole was pretty much exposed and he didn't have much choice and he went for it. 

"Pull my ass open and get your tongue in there," I told him. 

He was still hesitant, I think because of what he was afraid he might find, but I reached back and stretched my hole wide open and sat down hard. Forced to do it, he quickly discovered that his fears were unfounded and he liked it. He moaned and tongued me, holding my butt down tight against his face. 

"Yeeaaaaah, that's it. Fuck me with your tongue,” I moaned.  
I felt my orgasm building. I had to pull away from him to continue with the lesson. He really liked eating ass, and he had a really strong tongue that was easy to educate. It was one of my favorite things to have done to me and he got me real hot real fast. Too hot, too fast. 

He balked again at taking my load when I told him I wanted to come directly in his mouth. 

"I don't think I can do that," he said as he was stroking my cock, aimed away from his face because he thought I was getting close. "I know I'm gonna choke and gag.”

"So what?" 

"You're gonna force me anyway, aren't you," he whined.

“This is what you agreed to. My way, all the way, remember?”

I think he didn't mind being forced. 

"When I shoot off, I'm gonna have my cock down your throat. You won't taste a thing at first. You'll feel it, though. Then while I'm coming, I'm gonna pull my cock back till I'm shooting right in your mouth. You're gonna really taste it then. You just keep sucking till I'm done coming, but don't swallow till I pull my cock out of your mouth. Got that?" 

"Oh, Jesus, I gotta swallow? I gotta eat your cum?" 

"Yeah, that goes with the territory," I said. 

"W-what does it taste like?" 

"Like cum. Didn't you get a taste when I shot all over your face?" 

"No." 

I thought he did and that was the reason he didn't want to do it. I shrugged and started fucking his face. He choked and gagged on my cock but I held him to it for a moment before I eased up. I pulled out of his mouth. His eyes were watering and he wiped his spit off his mouth. 

"Did you....shoot?" he asked, gasping. 

"No, just giving you a rest," I said. "You'll know it when I cum." 

He eyed my cock and put his hand around it. 

"Fuck, I don't believe I had that down my throat." 

"You loved it," I smirked. 

"Yeah? Yeah, I did, but I still don't believe I took it." 

"We're not done," I said, stroking my cock up over his face. 

He opened wide and I gave him my cock again, right down to the balls. He choked and gagged but not as bad as the first time. I stuck it to him this time, fucking his throat till I started cumming. I knew he could feel me shooting by the way he whimpered and moaned. He did okay, better than I expected. I withdrew part way and gave him a mouthful and kept my cock in his mouth for a couple of minutes to force him to hold my load. Finally, I pulled out. He lay there with his eyes closed and his face all scrunched up. 

"Okay, swallow," I said. 

He blinked then closed his eyes again and took a deep breath then gulped it down. I don't think he liked it from the face he made but he did okay. He didn't lose any of it. 

"Goddam, I don't ever want to do that again," he said.

"Yeah, you will," I smirked. "You gotta do it again in order to graduate, and you better know, one thing for sure, straight guys are gonna expect you to swallow. They hate having their cum spit out." 

We showered together and he wanted to suck my cock again…yeah, and tongue my ass. He said he wanted to practice. I let him but we didn't go through it all again. Toward the end I gave him another load to practice on and he swallowed it but not before wallowing it around in his mouth for a minute to show me he liked it, whether he did or not. He was learning. If there'd been an exam afterwards he would have gotten an A. 

I told him we would take up where we left off next time me we met up at Brock’s. 

"What do you mean? What else is there?" he asked with disbelief. 

"Next time you get to take your exam. I'm going to grade you on how well you fuck my ass." 

He gaped at me, dumbfounded. 

"Hey, I'm jerking your chain," I chided him. Then he looked disappointed. 

"Yeah, I thought…I was sure you were straight, man, both of you guys,” he said. 

He left, happy with the lesson. I left drained. Teaching takes a lot out of you. I went back to Brock's but Bucky wasn't there. I didn't expect him to be, but I waited around through two more beers then headed back to the barracks. The CQ told me I'd gotten a phone call. 

"A guy named Bucky. He wanted to talk to you but he said he would hook up with you later, but he couldn't say when," he told me. 

I knew what that meant; he was out on another mission. I was glad he called. 

"Oh, and you've got a temporary assignment; you leave at 0700 tomorrow," he added. 

Fuck! Bucky was out for I didn't know how long but now I wouldn't be here if he did come in. Still, it wouldn't be so bad with both of us being gone at the same time. I got sent on temporary assignment pretty often, usually when they'd captured a guy that was too high-risk to move and bring to us for fear of being ambushed. Maybe it was someone Bucky had taken in.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, the grass is full of stars,  
> Fallen in their brightness;  
> Hearts they have of shining gold,  
> Rays of shining whiteness.

 

Chapter Three

Have A Seat

Bucky returned before I got back to my unit. They told me he'd called my barracks and when I went to Brock's he told me Bucky had been in. The young sailor I had met up with came up to the bar where I was sitting. I remembered his name; Peter. He wasn't wearing his uniform this time.

"Your buddy was in," the sailor said as he stood beside my stool.

"Okay."

"Yeah, I, uh... I sort of made myself known."

"Good."

"Yeah, he was. I'm sure glad I had you to teach me the ropes and break me in first. Damn, that guy is a stallion! He's huge!"

I turned and looked at him.

"Is that hurt or jealousy or pissed I see on your face?" he said with a smirk.

"He wouldn't like you talking like that about him," I said.

"I wouldn't be to anyone but you," he said. "If it's any consolation, he was looking for you. But since you weren't here, well, somebody had to do the job."

He had a knowing smirk on his face that led me to believe that somehow, he knew I wasn't the straight teacher he thought I was. I didn't know what he might have learned from Bucky but I didn't say anything to confirm or deny. I whirled around and stood off the bar stool and walked away, suddenly consumed with the emotional impact of what he'd said. The emotions he thought he saw on my face were all there. I was hurt, I was jealous and yeah, I was pissed. I was also being a first-class hypocrite. Hell, I'd broken the kid in, for chrissakes, taught him everything he knew. What right did I have to be pissed at Bucky for balling the guy? Nobody mentioned if Bucky had said he was coming back so I didn't hang around. I headed for my barracks. He never called.

I was a mess for the next several days and nights. I went to Brock's every night but came away empty-handed. Soon my anger and hurt turned to worry. When I was chosen again to go on temporary assignment I practically begged to get out of it. I told the sergeant I was supposed to meet a girl.

"Shit, she must be something, you're practically kissing my boots."

"If that's what it takes, I'll kiss your ass," I said.

It had been too long since I'd seen Bucky, and I wanted to be around if he called again. I think I would have gone back into the office and kissed the sergeant's bare ass if I had to. I succeeded in getting out of the assignment so I was there when Bucky called again.

"Hey, fucker, can you get off?" he asked.

"Why, you couldn't get hold of Peter?" I asked with sarcasm.

"What?" he asked, surprised.

"The sailor. He pretty much filled me in," I said. Fuck, where did that come from? He'd been out God-only-knew-where and he probably didn't even remember fucking the sailor, and I was spouting off like a jealous asshole. I guess I was jealous.

"I'll be at Brock's. Be there if you want to," he said gruffly and hung up.

Pissed and hurt as I was, I went. Nothing could've kept me away. I swung by the Trent and got a room just in case. If we didn't use it I would go there by myself and get drunk. Bucky was at the bar. I hesitated in the shadows at the door to watch him, laughing and talking to Brock, the muscles of his arms bulging and flexing as he gestured.

When I stepped inside and he saw me, he held up his hand to stop Brock from getting me a beer and stood down from the barstool.

"Let's go," he said, without his usual smile, as he approached me.

I went outside with him. I thought he was headed for the hotel but we walked in all different directions and even passed right by the Trent Hotel twice. I was beginning to feel I'd made a mistake spouting off to him the way I did about the sailor.

"What's this shit about this guy, Peter?" he demanded.

"You tell me," I shot back.

"There's nothing to tell."

"That's not the way he tells it."

"I should be flattered that you sound jealous but I don't have time to deal with that," Bucky said. "He was there, you weren't, and you know how I am when I come back in. Not that it should matter but just know that he didn't mean a damn thing except getting my rocks off.”

"Somehow, I would've expected you to pick up a woman for that," I said angrily.

"He came on to me first," he defended.

"Last time, you told him to get lost."

"Last time I was with _you_ ,” he shot back. "I did call, you know."

"I was on temporary assignment in Nha Trang," I said.

"I know. They said they didn't know when you would get back. Look, if you think I owe you an apology, okay. I don't think I do but I will apologize if you want me to."

That surprised me.

"No," I said after a beat or two.

"Well, for your information, Peter isn't my type."

"Oh. I didn't realize you had a type," I said.

"Jesus, after all we've been through together you haven't figured out my type?"

"Let me guess... anybody that's handy?" I said, still sounding surly.

"I said it was getting my rocks off. Hell, it could've just as easily been with a woman if he hadn't come on the scene first, and you wouldn't have had any problem with that, would you? Shit, man, the whole thing lasted barely a half hour. And for somebody who thought he was so hot to trot, it was hard to even get him warmed up."

"Meaning he couldn't handle you, huh," I said with a smirk that eased the tension a bit.

"No. He tried, but no."

"He said you fucked him," I said.

"Not even close," Bucky scoffed.

"Hell, I barely got half way in him. He's a wimp. He was carrying on like a little high school virgin when I pushed the head of my cock through. He couldn't take it. I started fucking him but he ended up sucking me off and that was it. So can we reduce it to what it was? I got a blowjob. And he wasn't all that good at it."

I thought Peter had put on an act for him but I didn't say so. I felt guilty as hell, treating Bucky like this, burdened with the secret that I'd broken Peter in when Bucky was away. Because I’m an idiot, I also felt a little pissed and disappointed that Peter didn't perform up to standard since _I_ had been the one to break him in.

"Let's just forget it," I said, after a moment. "You're back, safe and sound, and that's all that matters to me,” I said, hoping he understood how much I meant it. “I'm sorry I made such a big deal out of it. I had no right to."

“Well…maybe I should be flattered, that you're jealous," he said with a sly grin.

I stopped.

"Look, before we go any further..."

"What?" he asked.

"I, uh—I had Steve, too," I said, refusing to leave his gaze.

He looked at me with his eyes wide with surprise, then laughed.

"In fact, I broke him in. I got this cherry," I went on. "You wouldn't have been able to even get the head in if I hadn't already busted his cherry for you. I trained him; sorry he didn't perform well for you but he hasn't taken his final exam yet,” I smirked.

"You fucker," he said, laughing, and punched me on the shoulder.

I was both relieved and ashamed that he was taking it so well after the way I acted toward him. He walked on and I took up his stride. We walked several more blocks in silence, the way we sometimes did. I never knew what was going on in that handsome head when he did that.

"You know you're like a brother to me, right?” he asked finally. "I don't like fighting like that. I get enough of that."

I was taken aback. It was the first time he'd expressed any feelings about me or acknowledged anything between us beyond pure, animal sex.

"You're more than a brother to me," I said quietly.

"Do you want to go back to the room? You got a room didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to go there?" he asked again.

“If you do.”

"Well, I do. Very much," he said softly, knocking my shoulder with his.

I was touched by his tone and the physical gesture.

We crossed the street and headed in the direction of the hotel. I was surprised when we went right in the front door together.

"Hey, man, have there been a couple of babes in here looking for a couple of GIs?" Bucky asked the clerk to cover ourselves.

"If they were, they're upstairs with two other guys by now," the clerk replied.

"Fuckin' bitches," he swore as he went on to the stairs.

In the room he closed and bolted the door then grabbed me and pulled us together. It wasn't an embrace except to bring our bodies together.

"Damn, feels like you're glad to see me," he said, smashing his loins against my hard-on. "When did that happen?"

"When you slid the bolt," I replied.

He laughed.

"I'm gonna slide the bolt all right,” he said with a dopey smile.

I groaned.

“That was pathetic, Marine,” I replied.

“I’m Navy, punk,” Bucky smirked, but I could he the lust in his eyes.

“You’re a Marine, jerk.”

He started to undress but I took over. It was like unwrapping a Christmas gift that you'd been aching for. I _ached_ for him. I had to restrain myself from tearing his clothes off. After taking his shorts off and tossing them aside I paused on one knee to admire his formidable cock. I loved the way he was cut, with a generous collar. It made his cock look muscular. I almost took it in my mouth but refrained, like putting off dessert.

Naked, he took my breath away. He was a like a god to me. He was absolute perfection in a man, way beyond what I felt for him inside. I couldn't tell him any of this, of course; he would have been embarrassed. He was who he was, nothing more; while I wondered what it must be like to be him, with his raw courage, and to live inside a body like that.

I started taking off my clothes. Instead of going over to the bed, Bucky sat in the chair to watch me undress. My cock was throbbing by the time I freed it from my shorts. Bucky's cock always took longer to get hard simply because it was so big. He slumped down in the chair and spread his legs out. He held his cock upright and it stood at near rigid attention. There was precum pouring out of the wide slit.

"Come here, have a seat," he said.

I walked over and took some of his precum on my fingertips and used it for lube in my ass, even though I knew it was nowhere near enough. Then I straddled him with his cock firmly planted between my butt muscles. I worked it around to stretch my ass then finally bit the bullet, as I always did, and let my weight down on it.

I let out a little gasp and tossed my head back in perfect agony when the head popped through. Bucky put his hands loosely around my hips, as if to soothe the pain he knew he was causing me. I gradually rode down on it, and the feel of his hot meat shoving up into my body made me forget the pain.

His moan sent shivers down my spine and made my balls ache simultaneously. It was drawn out and husky as I sat all the way down. It felt like his cock was embedded, I don't know, somewhere up against my stomach maybe.

I sat solid for a moment, squeezing his cock with my sphincter. Then I rose up to the head. I paused and his hands gripped me tighter, urging me back down. I lowered back down on it and went right back up. At the bottom I twisted my butt around in circles and bucked back and forth.

"Oh, fuck! God, it's so good the way you do that!" he groaned.

It was good for me, too. His cock was rubbing back and forth against my prostate, already almost more than I could stand. I wanted to be fucked in the worst way.

"I like this, you being in control," he said. “I’m— not— exactly— in control," I stammered between his cock rubbing across my prostate, making me the swirling colors of Saigon illuminated at night, even though my eyes were shut tight. "But it surprises me that you said that."

"It makes the anticipation greater, not knowing how you're going to move, what you're gonna do next."

"Now you know how I feel."

I fucked him high and low, hard and gentle. It nearly sent him into orbit when I rose up, hesitated, then dropped back down like the crystal ball in Times Square. Bucky's big hands guided me up then his grip loosened for me to fall again. I nearly blew the top of my head off when his cock jarred my prostate. I rose up part way and stopped.

"What's the matter?" he asked, loosening his grip on my hips.

"I've gotta stop for a minute, I'm getting too close."

"So shoot it," he said.

"No, I want you to go off, then we can stretch out on the bed."

"Hell, why didn't you say so?" he said as he pulled me down and thrust his cock up inside me.

He took charge from there. I stayed standing astraddle his hips and he fucked me. My cock was spreading precum all over his chest and stomach. I hoped he didn't mind. He didn't seem to. My chest was at the level of his face.

"You've got great pecs, did I ever tell you that?" he said.

I trembled inside with anticipation; he was going to suck my nipples and that always drove me crazy; worse when he did it while he was fucking me.

"Fuckers are standing up nice and hard," he said, then leaned in and flicked my left nipple with his tongue.

"Ohh," I gasped.

"Yeah, you like that, don't you?" he said with a soft chuckle.

"Jesus, _yes!_ “ I moaned again when he clamped his mouth over my pec and sucked hard on my nipple and drove his big, hot cock up in me all at the same time.

“Ohhhh—oh! Fuck, yes! Fuck me!"

"The other side's jealous," he said, and trailed his mouth and his tongue across my chest to my other nipple. It stood up hard and proud too, begging for his attention.

"You're about to get your wish," he said as he brought me down and held me down hard and tight as he hunkered his cock up inside me.

I squeezed and milked his cock with my ass. His body trembled and his muscles tightened. Then I felt his cock bolt inside me, then there was the liquid heat of his cum. I could actually feel the stuff squirting up through the thick tube. The chair was creaking; I hoped it held up through his climax.

Yeah, he needed this. So did I. He relaxed, finally and pulled me tight against him, smashing his face against my chest and my cock hard against his stomach. His cock still pulsated deep inside me.

"I can feel your heart beating through your cock," I said.

"That _is_ my heart beating in there," he said, with an amused look on his face.

"This is not going to be a pretty sight," I said as I started to raise up. I knew my ass would be stretched wide open and his load was going to come draining out like Niagara Falls.

"Wait, we'll do it another way," he said.

He stood up with surprising ease, holding my butt in one hand and I locked my legs around him. He walked us over to the sink in the corner of the room and grabbed a towel then took us back over to the bed. He tossed the towel out across the bed and laid me down under him. Then he pulled his cock out and lay beside me. I liked it this way, when I could hold his cum inside me so it could, at least in my imagination, be absorbed by my body. The moments after were always a good indication of his mood. Sex was always foremost for both of us, especially for him, but then he retreated to his mood. He was quiet, and relaxed this time. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. He needed what he got from me and I was more than happy to oblige, and he knew I would be there for him again and as long as he wanted me.

"I would love to see you in full gear, sometime, ready to go out," I said. "I would like to have some pictures of you.”

"That could be arranged, I guess. I'll bring my gear with me next time. You bring your camera. Take all the pictures you want."

"How about some of you out of your gear, too?" I asked with a mischievous grin.

"Take all the pictures you want," he said again. His mood was more calm and unhurried than other times.

"Turn over with your back to me," he said.

I gave him a strange look, but did as I was told. When I was on my side he spooned his body against mine and put his arm over me. This was new to both of us. Beautiful uncharted territory. We lay like that for a long time, enjoying the closeness of each other's bodies.

I felt his cock growing hard again and he slid it up and down the crack of my ass. Soon it found my still relaxed hole. He shoved it inside me all the way and pulled me in tight against him with one arm locked around my chest.

"Let's just lay like this for a while, okay?" he said.

"Yes. Your cock feels good throbbing up inside me, and your muscles feel good against my back."

"Man, I wish I could have you with me out on patrol. We could lie like this under the stars while I wait to take my shot."

"Somehow I think me being out there would impede the mission," I laughed.

"I don't want to say I'm using you, but being with you gets me re-charged," he said.

"I don't know if that should be a compliment or not… I get you charged up to go out and kill." I felt him tense and he was eerily silent. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.”

"It's okay, it's true," he said. "Awful as it sounds, it's true. But I don't consider it killing. It's called a kill but to me, it's taking out the enemy, nothing more, nothing less, just like anybody else in combat. Just like you would do. I have to stay focused on that."

"I'm terrified something will happen to you, Bucky," I said in a choked, husky whisper.

He snuggled tighter against me and pressed one big hand hard over my right pec.

"Don't be," he said.

"I'm the best damned shot in the company, probably in the battalion. Nothing's going to happen to me."

"Somewhere out there, they've got a best shot," I said.

He laughed and his abs rippled against my back.

"With what, a pea shooter? They gotta see me to shoot me. I'm an expert at camouflage, too. You could walk right over me and not even know I'm there."

"You're an expert at anything you do," I said as I took his big hand in mine and held it tight against my chest.

He flicked my nipples and squeezed them between his fingers. I traced my fingers over his. He had such big hands, with long, thick fingers, muscular fingers that could wrap so comfortably around a bayonet, and around a man's neck with deadly intent, or hold a rifle with such ease and deadly accuracy; or hold another man like he was holding me. He was indeed a highly trained and skilled killing machine. It was awesome to me that he could so easily turn into a skilled lover.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And forget about hope. Time goes running, even  
> As we talk. Take the present, the future’s no one’s affair.

Chapter Four

It Won't Be A Woman

One day at about noon there was an explosion in the alley behind our barracks that took out most of the building across the alley and blew out a big chunk of our facility. I was thrown against a wall—maybe through it—I didn't remember anything till I felt myself whirling around in half-consciousness in the hospital. It was a four-bed ward but two of the beds were empty and the other guy wasn't in the room when I woke up. I found out from the nurse that I had a lot of cuts and bruises, broken ribs, a broken arm and wrist, and a dislocated shoulder. When I started to move there was pain in my right leg and I felt the bandage around my thigh.

"You've got a bad laceration there," she told me. 

When I tried to sit up she quickly came to help me lie back down as I started to topple to the side. I was dizzy and it felt like my eyes were rolling back in my head. She told me I needed to lie still, and I heard "concussion." Several of the guys visited me and told me another guy, Tim Dugan, was in intensive care with both legs badly mangled and internal injuries. Another guy, Percy Pinkerton, was killed. I hurt for them, but mostly I was pissed at the VC. 

When Bucky called my unit they simply told him I was in the hospital. Now I heard the sound of heavy boots coming down the hall and knew instinctively that it was Bucky. He was walking fast and hard. But a few steps from the door he slowed and walked on in nonchalantly, chuckling under his breath. 

"And you thought it was going be me that got it," he said.

"Don't start." 

"Does this mean I have to go find Peter till you—“ 

“Don’t…start," I said again. 

"Hey, I'm just kidding, you know that. No, what I'm going to do is have the nurses turn you over on your stomach. You're going to be here for a few days, there's no sense letting that tight butt of yours go to waste. That's the only thing that didn't get hurt. I think the bed will hold our combined weight." 

I couldn't help laughing, but then I swore at him for making me laugh when my ribs hurt so damned bad. 

"They have no idea how this has impeded the war effort," he went on, smiling. "Shit, I'm not going to be able to hit a damn thing till you're recuperated." 

"If it comes to that, go find Peter," I said, dryly. "We can't lose the war on account of me." 

"And we can't win it on account of me," he said, dropping his jocular tone. "But I'm not going looking for Peter." 

"I can handle it. I know how you are." I tried to sound light-hearted but somehow, I was afraid Peter had become a sticking point between us, otherwise he wouldn't have come up. 

"I'll survive," he said. "Just don't spend too much time in that bed, or I am going to be crawling in there with you." 

Bucky sat and talked for a while; longer than I expected because I knew how he felt about hospitals. I could tell after a while that he was forcing it. He didn't want to be there. I punched his shoulder and told him to go to Brock's and have a beer. I was really telling him to go find Peter without saying the words but I didn't know whether he caught that. 

"Naw, I'm fine," he said. 

We talked some more, and I was happy that he seemed to be as comfortable and okay with our conversation as he was when we were having sex. 

"Hey, this isn't going to get you sent on R&R, is it?" he asked. 

"Would that be so bad?" 

"It wouldn't be good for the war effort, me going to Brock's and not finding you there." 

"It's good to know that I'm so essential to the war effort," I said. 

"You know that's not all that's between us," he said in a funny tone that I'd never heard before. He went on in a low, quiet voice. "It scared me when they told me you were in the hospital. I know I'm going to meet a girl and fall in love and get married someday but... well, I'm never going to forget us." 

"I'll always be there, any time you need me or want me, any place, for anything," I told him. I was surprised at the turn the conversation was taking. 

"That's a pretty broad statement,” he said. His handsome face was indecipherable. 

"I meant it to be. Do me a favor," I said. 

"What's that?" he asked. 

"When you do meet the lucky girl and decide to get married, let me know, would you? I want to know when to stop hoping and dreaming." 

"Let you know, hell, you're going to be there, as my best man," he said smiling. 

"I don't know if I could do that." 

"You'll be there, then, as a groomsman. I definitely want you at the bachelor party." 

"I guess I could handle that," I said. 

"The way I've pictured it in my mind, you could spend my last night of freedom with me for our own private bachelor party." 

"Talking like that, it doesn't sound like you're going to be ready to get married for a long time," I said. 

"I'll be ready when the time comes, when the right girl comes along. But I want to hang onto this as long as I can." 

"You've got me for as long as you want," I said. 

"Married or not," I added. 

"You would help me cheat on my wife, is that what you're saying?" 

"Absolutely. Although I wouldn't consider it cheating, with another guy," I said. 

"Point well taken. But I'll have to give that some real hard thought. What about you, you'll meet somebody and get married and have kids." 

"None of the above," I said. "If I do meet somebody, you and I both know it won't be a woman. And I can't imagine any relationship so strong that it would exclude you if you ever needed me. Nothing's ever going to replace this for me." 

I paused for a moment then went on. I didn't particularly like talking about this, it was like a wedge was being driven between us. But it had opened the door for things to be said that needed to be said. 

"Surviving that blast got me to thinking, and I'm going to say this. Buck, I know you don't like to get sappy, but it has to be said this one time, then I'll never speak of it again. I love you, man." 

I barely got the words squeezed out and I reached out and touched his hand, just briefly... a quick touch—nothing more—I didn't hold it or anything. 

"Fuck, man.” 

He looked away as if he was trying to escape my words, or maybe he was looking to see if there was anybody around to hear us. We were completely alone. 

"That's more than just sappy. That’s—fuck, that's deep." 

"You can't be surprised. You must have known," I said softly. 

"Maybe... maybe I knew something, but it jolts me to hear you say it," he said. 

I hoped he would say something in return but he didn't and I understood that he couldn't. He didn't have it in him; he just wasn't built that way. Just then the other guy, my roommate, came hobbling in on crutches and we had to turn the conversation to sports and women and bitching about the military. It would be the only time Bucky came to the hospital. 

I didn't know if he went back to Brock's that night for a beer, or the other six nights that I was in the hospital, but it didn't matter. I didn't know if he looked for Peter, and that didn't matter either. I got out and was put back on duty, which was fine with me. Deep down, despite the bitching, I wanted to do my part in the war. And I was good at it, getting information out of the prisoners that men like Bucky brought in. I think that's why I sort of got preferential treatment, because I was good. I could get a pass about anytime I wanted it. It got so lax that there were overnight passes made out in my name and signed, ready for me to pick up. I knew there would be prisoners waiting for me when I got back; and the colonel knew I would be primed to go to work on them.

~o~

As soon as I was able, I was back at Brock's, keeping my vigil. The cuts and bruises were healed to the point where they made me look rugged and tough. The wrist was still a bit tender but the arm and shoulder were okay, in a sling. I had a scar on my leg but I was walking fine and my head was none the worse for wear except for the exterior damage. The ribs were the slowest to heal; I knew I would have to be damned careful in bed with Bucky.

After two beers I headed for the rest room. There was Peter hunkered down, his back against the wall and a young soldier hunkered over him feeding him his cock. I went ballistic. 

"Are you nuts!" I said as I grabbed the soldier's shoulder and pulled him away. 

His cock jerked out of Steve's mouth with a loud noise and swung around and the soldier grabbed it as if it hurt swinging like that. 

"You stupid fuck! The wrong guy walks in and sees that, we'll have the MPs or Shore Patrol crawling all over the place and there goes Brock's Bar." 

I pulled Peter to his feet. He'd had too much to drink. I shoved him at the soldier who was trying to get his pants buttoned up over the lump of his manhood. 

"Get you and your soldier boy a room," I growled. 

I didn't tell Brock about the incident. There was no need for him to worry since I'd taken care of it. I had another beer and talked to Brock, and had another beer. And another. I was reaching my limit. I had a nice buzz on but another beer would make me unsteady on my feet, and my mouth had a tendency to get unsteady, too, when I had too much to drink. 

"Doesn't look like he's going to show," Brock said. 

"You would tell me if he was already in earlier, wouldn't you?" I said with a wary grin. 

"Yes, unless he asked me not to." 

"Did he? Was he?" 

"No." 

I downed my beer. 

"Okay, I'm heading back," I said. 

I walked back to the compound and headed for the barracks. No sense wasting good sack time. I barely got to sleep when someone woke me. 

"Hey, there's somebody at the gate to see you. Says it's important." 

My heart sank. 

God, he was hurt. Or worse! 

I pulled on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and socks and rushed out of the barracks, across the grass to the guard shack. I saw him standing there in full combat gear, just the way I'd wanted to see him. I was relieved that he was alive but still in a panic that something was seriously wrong. My first thought that he was leaving Vietnam. 

"I need to talk to you," he said. 

The guard stepped out of the shack to give us privacy. 

"Talk," I said. 

"I couldn't make it to Brock's tonight. I'm being relocated temporarily." 

"Relocated where?" I asked, feeling panic. 

"Qui Nhon. There are a couple of VC snipers up there causing a lot of mischief," he said. 

"They called you to go all the way to Qui Nhon? Okay, I guess they wanted the best." 

He was like a bionic man. 

Like steel. 

There was no hint of a thought that he might be the one taken out. 

"How long?" I asked, trying to control the quiver in my voice. 

"I don't know. Till the job is done. It could take days, even weeks, just to set it up. They're good. Our guys haven't been able to take them out. We leave at 0700 hours. Can you get out tonight?" 

"Yes. Just give me a minute to—oh, shit, I tore up my pass when I came back!" And I knew there were no more signed passes waiting. I stuck my head out of the shack. 

"What time do you go off duty?" I asked the guard. 

"0700 hours," he replied. 

"Look, you know I had a pass, right? You saw me tear it up. Will you let me out and back in without one? My brother's being relocated and we'd like to spend some time together before he leaves in the morning." 

"Sure, but that's not going to clear you if you get stopped by the MPs or Shore Patrol," the guard said. 

"We'll dodge them," Bucky said. 

"If you don't, tell them to call the guard shack. I'll try to cover for you. I doubt they're going to stop and hassle a SEAL in full combat gear except to kiss his boots." 

I ran back to finish getting dressed. Luckily I'd already showered and prepared myself for the fuck that I was hoping for. When I got back to the gate Bucky and the guard were talking and laughing like old friends. 

"Hey, we owe you big time," Bucky told the guard as he left. 

"Forget it." 

We took off down the street. 

"Do you want to get a room?" I asked. 

"Yes. Do you think we can?" 

We went up and down side streets and ducked in and out of alleys to get to the Trent Hotel without being seen. The desk clerk eyed Bucky with suspicion, and with good cause, him being in full battle dress. 

"What's going on?" he asked, indicating Bucky in full combat uniform. 

He sounded worried, probably that something big was about to happen right there in the city. 

"I just got back in and I had them drop me off in town," Bucky said. "My brother and I want to spend some time together before I go back out in the morning." 

I didn't think the guy was buying it but he didn't question it. We went upstairs. Inside Bucky closed the door and bolted it and took off his helmet. "Well you wanted to see me in this getup, I thought this would be a good opportunity," he said. 

"Yes. Damn, you look awesome,” I said grinning. “So damned studly. If I saw you stalking me I think I would just lay down my weapon and surrender.”

"No you wouldn’t,” Bucky smiled. It made my stomach what to crawl into my lungs. “Besides, the point is for you not to see me, and you wouldn't. If I was stalking you I would be in full camo." 

"I didn't bring a camera," I said sullenly. 

"That's okay, I'll dress up again sometime for a photo shoot," he said. 

He started taking his gear and uniform off, laying everything neatly on the chair and floor, as if he were taking off an expensive suit. To him, his gear was more valuable than that. 

"I don't know how you maneuver with all of that equipment," I said. 

"It's part of you. It's an extension of your body, everything serving a purpose," he said. "Trust me, I don't carry anything I don't need." 

I was naked before he was because he had a lot more to take off. Or maybe I was too eager, but I didn't care. I cared even less when I saw the way he was looking at me as he stripped his uniform off, with that hungry look in his eyes. 

"God, you never looked so good," he said. 

I didn't like the way he said it. It excited me but it sounded like he expected it to be the last time he would see me like this, and he wanted to carry the image with him. It left a pain in the pit of my stomach. I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed and watched him. 

Every move he made was a thing of beauty. He was slowly transformed from a deadly fighting man to a naked stud of a man; two hundred pounds of solid, ripped muscle; a god. When he was down to his shorts I took over. I slid off the bed to my knees to take them off of him. I looked up at him as I hooked my fingers into the waistband of his shorts—a worshipful look—and saw his tight smile, almost a mischievous smile. I tugged his shorts down and saw why he was smiling. Under his shorts, his manhood bulged inside a well worn, tattered jockstrap that was stretched something awful under the weight of him. 

"I told you I was going to bring you one," he said, breaking out in a smile. 

“It’s..." I started to say beautiful, but it wouldn't have been appropriate. “…nicely worn," I finished. 

"Yeah, I've had it since back in high school. Never been washed," he said. 

I knelt there admiring the sacred garment that was privileged to hold such a precious cargo. It was rife with tatters and tears and little pick holes. It had a dingy look and a musky aroma that intoxicated me. I pressed my face against the pouch and felt Bucky's hand gently on my head. I kissed and mouthed the worn material till it was damp then tugged it aside to release his growing manhood. 

"I know you don't like me down on my knees but I have to have some of this first, and I want to be here," I said as I sucked his cock in my mouth. 

He didn't object but he didn't leave me on my knees very long. I was kissing his hard, muscular thighs, practically worshipping him, when he cupped his hands in my armpits and lifted me up to sit on the edge of the bed. It was a thing with him; he said being on your knees was an execution position. I wondered why he would think that, but I didn't ask. I didn't want to know. I thought of it as a worshipful position. He took off his jockstrap and tossed it on the pillow then stood between my knees at the edge of the bed and pumped his cock in and out of my mouth. 

After a moment he put his hand around my head and set one foot up on the mattress and laid me back across the bed so he could straddle my chest. He cradled my head in his hands and gently fucked my face. I ran my hands over his muscles. I never tired of feeling his rugged strength. He set his balls on my mouth then rose farther up over me, practically sitting on my face with his butt spread open, and sat down on my face. I was surprised when I felt his hand on me—he never touched me like that—my stomach, then my thigh, moving between my legs. He was careful not to touch my dick but he touched my balls. I could tell he was heading for my ass. I flung my legs out and pulled my hips up off the mattress to offer myself to him. 

He massaged my hole and probed then shoved his finger inside me. I moaned around his cock as his hard, big fingers, long and thick, bore into me like a small cock. Nearly as big as some cocks I'd seen. I groaned louder and squealed when he found my prostate. I was amazed how the damn thing worked; it just lay there inside of me with all the rest of my internal organs with no feeling whatsoever till something touched it then it showed no mercy. Neither did Bucky. He rubbed the nut/gland and tapped it gently with his fingertips. He knew what that did to me. I went nuts, groaning and whimpering around his cock and twisting my butt around. 

"I think you need something bigger than my finger in there," he said with a grin. 

He pulled his cock out of my mouth and moved down between my legs. He lifted my legs onto his shoulders then picked up the jockstrap and stuffed it in my mouth. I didn't need it but I let him because I knew he liked seeing it. I liked it too, the texture of the soft material, and the gentle smell and taste of his musk. He unceremoniously popped my hole with his cock but went no farther. I squeezed my sphincter tightly around the rim and grimaced from the pain. 

"God, that feels good, you're so tight, your ass muscles are so powerful." 

After a few seconds he asked, "Do you want some more?" 

"Yes," I said, taking the jock out of my mouth. 

"Yes, what?" 

"Yes, please, yes sir...fuck, man, just give it to me.”

Laughing, he eased every inch of hot, thick cock inside me. My eyes rolled back in my head as he skewered me on his huge meat and I groaned as he started fucking me. 

"When you're ready to cum, I want it in my mouth," I said. 

"Sure. Man, you really like the stuff, don't you?" 

"I want to take the taste of you back with me," I said. 

I knew that probably sounded screwy to him, and maybe even disgusted him, but he didn't let on. He took the jockstrap, put it around my neck and stuffed the pouch back in my mouth, then began fucking me slowly, gently, almost like he was making love to me, although I knew he wasn't. I knew how he liked to get right into it— he was very physical. He liked to fuck, yet he was being so gentle and I had to wonder about that, too. 

"You don't have to make love to me," I said, pulling the jock aside. 

"I'm not, but I want it to be as much for you as it is for me," he said. 

"Fuck me then," I said. "Fuck me like you always do— like you know you want to." 

He fucked me. He really fucked me, like a machine. I had to chew on the jockstrap to muffle my outcries. 

Surprisingly, he fucked me for nearly an hour... the first time. Usually he fucked hard and fast and got off right away the first time then the second or third time he would last longer. But he seemed intent on building up a real head of steam for the first round. Suddenly he pulled his cock out. 

"You said you wanted it," he said hoarsely as he crawled up over me on his knees, fisting his cock. 

I opened my mouth and he held my head just right to make a target. Suddenly he was shooting out great long, thick ropes of cum. Some hit my face but most of it found the target and my mouth quickly filled up. He really had a load. It was running out of the corners of my mouth by the time he was done. He leaned up over me to squeeze his cock and milked out the rest of it into my mouth. I wallowed it around for a moment, savoring the texture and the taste of him. 

"Was that enough for a taste to take back with you?" he asked. 

I mumbled with my mouth full, unable to speak. He put his thumb on my chin to push my jaw down and open my mouth. 

"That is hotter than hell, seeing my cum in your mouth." I wallowed my tongue in the pool of warm come while he watched. 

"I wanna see you swallow it now," he said. I opened my throat and let the stuff slide down. 

"Aww, fuck, that is so hot! Knowing you're taking my live seed with you. I wonder how long my sperm live in your stomach." 

"Probably not very long; stomach acid is like battery acid." 

We rested and talked for a while but I knew he would want it again, and I would be ready, willing and able to give it to him on command. I would've loved to stretch him out and suck his cock and make love to him and worship his body but I was happy with anything he wanted to do. I did suck him, as I often did, to another hard-on. It was a time, when he was getting hard, when I was able to gulp and pull his cock into my throat for a minute or so before he got completely hard. 

"You need to rest, let me do the work this time," I chided him as I moved astraddle him. 

I rose up, aimed his cock and sat down on it. 

"Oh, God!" he moaned. 

I twisted my ass around and slid it back and forth on his loins, making his cock lob around inside me. 

"Ohh, Fuck, I love it when you do that." 

I rode him like that for a half hour, most of that time fighting down my own climax. It was always there, on the verge, ready to happen, with his cock pounding my prostate. I was getting good at holding off. 

"I wanna come," I told him, finally. 

"Hey, it's your show," he said I rode him hard as I worked myself up. 

It didn't take long. It was only a matter of letting go, not holding it back. At the crucial moment I sat down hard and rode back and forth on his cock inside me instead of up and down. When I shot off I hit his face with a volley of cum and he quickly held both hands down in front of my cock to shield himself from the salvos that followed. I shot all over his hands and he was a mess. I had to suck in fresh air to keep the stars away. 

"Fuck, man, you sure needed that, didn't you?" he chuckled, lying there helpless and covered with my cum. 

He didn't know what to do. He had my cum all over his face and he couldn't wipe it off because his hands were full of cum. He started to reach for the sheet but I stopped him. 

"I'll take care of it," I said. 

I took his hands and flattened them on his stomach, dumping the cum out and smearing it all over him. Then I leaned up and began kissing the stuff off his face and lapping it off his forehead and I sucked it off of his chest. All the while I was rubbing the stuff over his hard abs. 

"Fuck this is hot, like a cum bath and massage," he said. 

Yeah, he was coming around, I thought, with a smile. 

I cleaned him up with my tongue. He squirmed under me as I licked the stuff out of the deep ridges of his abs. After that he got up to shower. We didn't waste much time recuperating. We didn't have the time and I wanted to give him all he needed to sustain him until he came back; and myself, too. 

He was fucking me yet again when he said, "I'm getting close, where do you want it?" 

I told him to go ahead and shoot in my ass. He always left me a little dazed and disoriented when he fucked me. It was so intense and usually non-stop. It took me a minute for my brains to settle after he blew his load inside me. He paused enough to pull out and lie beside me but his cock didn't go down all the way and when it did, it rose right back up almost on command. 

"Shit, is that thing on a switch?" I asked. 

"You think we can go again?" he asked, rather sheepishly. 

"Can you name a time when I wasn't ready?" I said, smirking. 

On my stomach, he mounted me again. He pulled me up to my knees and pulled my butt back hard onto his cock. I picked up on it and met his thrusts with my ass. He hunkered up over me on his haunches, astraddle my butt, and fucked me unmercifully. The position, the tilt of my butt, seemed to let him go even deeper. He fucked me so hard that the head of the bed banged against the wall. 

Finally, he stopped, pulled out, stepped off the bed and pulled the bed several feet away from the wall. Then he climbed back on and resumed fucking me. My own pleasure was so intense and without letup. It was like one continuous, unending climax. My body did, in fact, respond periodically with a load of cum—I don't know where it all came from—but it was almost out of my control. It seemed all he had to do was pound my prostate and it exploded with another load. He shot me full, as if it were his first load that he'd saved up for me. Relieved, his legs started to tremble. I leaned forward and collapsed on the bed and he collapsed on top of me. I was lying in the warmth of my own cum. 

"Damn, you know how to fuck," I chuckled, a little out of breath. 

We rested for a short while and I felt his cock growing hard inside me yet again! 

"Feels like you flipped the switch again," I said. "Is it okay if I stay in there?" he asked. 

"I don't have to fuck you or anything; we'll roll over on our sides so I'm not crushing you." 

We lay spooned together, his cock throbbing in me. It was one of my favorite positions, and I think his. I fully expected him to fuck me again but it was enough for the moment. It would be hard to say whether he fucked me three, four, five times or if it was just one long, continuous fuck, for his cock never completely went down. When he'd had enough of my ass I scooted down on the bed, pulling my pillow down with me so I was facing his manhood. I didn't suck him as much as I kissed him and simply held his cock in my mouth. I just wanted him somewhere inside me. I drifted off and dreamed about us, and I was angry when I woke up but it was nice that I still had his cock in my mouth. I came awake, suckling on it like a baby. I looked up and Bucky was lying there watching me. He smiled and that turned into a laugh. 

"You've been laying there sucking on my cock in your sleep like a baby taking a tit," he said. 

"Your milk's got more protein in it than mother's milk, though," I said. 

He looked at his watch. 

"Is it time for you to go?" I asked. 

"Getting close." 

I went to work on his cock full force. Before it was completely hard I moved to his balls then nuzzled down under them and went for his ass. 

"Ohhh, fuck,man... we can't do this," he said as he pulled me up beside him. "You know what's gonna happen if I get started again." 

I was deeply disappointed. We lay together. It was like he didn't want to let go of me. I looked at his watch again. 

"I guess we ought to shower so you can get back," I said. 

I was hoping he would say no, but he got up. He put his hand down to pull me off the bed. "Come on, shower with me," he said. 

I was struck dumb. 

How many times had I lay on the bed, listening to him in the shower and longing to be in there with him. My happiness was dampened, though, by the uneasy feeling that he had asked me this time. There was just so much about this time together that was different and I could feel the bad vibes washing over me. It was fun showering together. I was surprised again when he handed me the soap. 

"You wore me out, you wanna do this for me?" he asked. 

I washed his body without it turning sexual; it was more erotic for me. When he was drying off I took the towel to do it for him. 

"I want to tell you goodbye," I said. 

“Yeah…” he said with a confused look. 

"Like this," I said as I leaned in and kissed each of his pecs. I kissed his abs then down to his thighs. "I want to remember every inch of you," I said hoarsely as I buried my face in his crotch to breath in the clean male aroma of him. 

I turned him around and kissed each side of his butt. It was he who pulled the taut muscles apart so I could kiss his asshole. He bent over so his butt muscles would spread apart more. I lapped my tongue all around and started to probe through his hole but he straightened. I stood up and he turned to face me. Before I knew what was happening he put his arms around me, one across my shoulders, the other around my waist with his hand on my butt. 

"I want to tell you good-bye... like this," he said as he pressed his lips to mine. 

I was stunned again, and shaking with excitement. 

I closed my eyes and allowed him to pry my lips apart with his tongue. It was such a hard, yet tender, passionate kiss, laced with desperation and a dozen other emotions that neither of us could sort out or even cared about at the time. I felt the surging tingle all through me but oddly neither of us got hard. 

"Looks like I wore it out," he said as we parted and he looked at his rubbery cock. 

"It wasn't that kind of kiss," I said. 

"No. No, I guess it wasn't," he said huskily. 

Still nervous with excitement, I sat and watched him get dressed. When he had his shorts held up to step into I tossed him his jockstrap. He snatched it out of the air and tossed it back to me. 

"You can keep it," he said. I held it for a moment then stood and walked over to him. 

"I want you to wear it if it's not too uncomfortable," I said. "I want you to have it on out there; it'll bring you back safe." 

I think he thought I was nuts but he took it and put it on. 

"I wonder what brought me back all those other times when I didn't wear my jock?" he said as he pulled it up and stuffed his manhood inside. 

It was a meticulous process, putting on each piece of gear and equipment. It was agonizing, too, watching his hard, rippling muscles be covered, and knowing where he was going. 

"Aren't you going to get dressed?" he asked. 

"No, I—I think I'll stay for a while," I said softly.

"No, I don't want to leave you here by yourself," he said.

"We should be here only if we're together." 

My heart ached.

"All right," I said, and started getting dressed. "You get your ass back here in one piece when you're done," I said. 

"I will. Don't worry, nothing's going to happen. They called for the best and that's what they got," he said. 

"Besides, I've got my lucky jockstrap on." 

"Your self confidence is as sexy as you are. Just hearing you talk like that gives me a hard-on.” 

"Well, you're going to have to take care of it yourself. I've got a job to get done," he said. 

By his tone he had turned into that steely-hard, professional that made him the man he was, and I felt the vibes again. We walked back to my barracks and stood at the gate. He looked at his watch again. 

"I'm running late," he said to the guard. "Can you get me a ride to my unit?" 

We stood and talked small talk till a Jeep pulled up. 

"I didn't want to leave you back there," he said quietly, looking down at his boots. "If one of us is there, the other one should be there." 

"Yeah? Okay, I understand," I said. 

He shifted his weight from one leg to the other, kicking the toes of his boots in the dirt, like a young stallion anxious to bolt out of the gate. I think he was more than ready to go. A Jeep pulled up and swung around facing the direction it had come. 

"Somebody called a taxi?" the young driver said. Bucky clasped his hand on my shoulder, our eyes met for a split second, and he climbed into the Jeep. 

"Where to?" the driver asked. 

"Wherever the fuck I tell you," Bucky said. 

"Yes, sir!" 

I stood and watched him drive away, an ache in my heart and a sinking feeling in my stomach. 

"Where's he headed?" the guard asked me. 

"He didn't tell me." 

"Special Ops, isn't he?" 

"Navy SEAL. He's a sniper." 

"Navy SEAL and a sniper? He's gotta have a pair of the biggest balls in country," the guard said. 

"He has," I said, but the guard didn't get my meaning.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is a **real** pal. ’Til the end of the line, obviously.

Chapter Five

Bring Ling

I went to Brock's several times, with no real hope that Bucky would be there, but just to be in a place where we had been together. Mostly, though, I hung around the barracks and took on extra duty so I could be around to monitor the phone. I was counting the days, and too many had passed and turned into weeks. I was almost sick with worry. Then one night I got a call from an orderly at the hospital.

"Petty Officer Bucky Barnes asked me to call you." 

"He's there, at the hospital?" I asked, barely able to work up the air to get the words out. 

"Yeah." 

"Tell him I'll be there as soon as I can," I said. My voice got weaker with each word as the air went out of me. 

I got dressed, grabbed a pass and headed for the hospital. I practically ran, and thought I should've gotten a cab. I was half-numb, with no clear thoughts in my head. I think I was afraid to think of what might have happened. 

The smell of the hospital sickened me and I wanted to turn and leave but I rushed down the hallway in search of the most important person in my life. I slowed as I approached his room; as he had done when he came to see me. Just outside, I paused to take in a deep breath. 

"We gotta stop meeting like this," I joked as I went in. 

"Hey, fucker," he greeted me with a wide smile. 

He had a pretty good growth of beard which only made him look more ruggedly handsome. I couldn't tell how bad he was hurt but he had both hands bandaged. The sheet was pulled down to his waist revealing his massive chest and ripped abs and nothing looked damaged there. He moved his leg and I saw a cast under the sheet. He laughed and squirmed in the bed. 

"How'd you get a two-bed room?" I asked. 

"They're a bit crowded so they're having to use the rooms usually reserved for officers," he said. 

"You got a room-mate?" I asked. 

My mind was churning out all kinds of ideas. 

"Nope, not yet." 

"So, what happened?" I asked, finally. 

He laughed, shaking his head. 

"Would you believe, the Godamned vehicle turned over and tumbled down a ravine. I got a busted leg and some burns out of it. Nothing serious." 

"How busted?" I asked, a knot in my stomach. 

I didn't know whether to believe his story of nothing serious. 

"I didn't see any bone. It'll be okay in a couple of weeks." 

"A couple?" 

"A few weeks... hell, I don't know," he said. 

"Are your hands the only thing that got burned?" 

He smiled and broke into a laugh. 

"Everything else is in great shape and working fine," he assured me. 

I couldn't help laughing when I noticed the huge lump under the sheet. It was moving. 

"Well, I can see you didn't get it blown off," I joked. 

"But it looks like you've got a problem there. Or are you just glad to see me?" 

"You know it. Fuck, it's worse than the injuries. If I don't get it taken care of it feels like it's gonna explode." 

"I thought they give you something for that when you're in the hospital," I said. 

"Did they give you anything?" he asked. 

"No, but I'm not as horny as you are, " I said. 

"The only thing they give me is a hard thump with the nurse's thumb. Damn, it hurts." 

"That's sadistic. Does it work?" 

"Not for long," he said. 

"Hell, I think he just wants to see my cock,” he smirked. 

"Oh, a male nurse. " 

"Yeah, and not bad looking either," he said. 

"I'll be right back," I said. 

"Where're you going?" 

"To get you something for that problem," I said. 

I went out in the hall and grabbed the first orderly who came by. 

"Look, my buddy's got a problem," I told him, nodding toward Bucky's room. 

"Oh, the big guy," he said, and I wondered if he was the nurse that thumped Bucky's cock. 

"Yeah, he needs some relief." 

"Relief from what?" 

"You know." 

"Well, we don't have a pill for that," he scoffed. "So what would you suggest?" 

"I'm not suggesting anything," I said. "I just happen to know he's a very horny guy and he's going nuts." 

"Yeah, I noticed we do have a problem keeping him down," he said, laughing. He shook his head. "I swear, I never seen anything like it. Talk about a horse. Hell, I can barely get it stuffed into the urinal for him to take a piss and that's when he's soft. He's got the biggest damned cock I ever seen, and I've seen a lot of them. Once he had a big boner and had to piss and it wouldn't go in the urinal. I had to get him a bucket." 

"Is there anything you can do?" I asked. 

"What do you want me to do, go jack him off? He's your buddy, you jack him off." 

"I didn't mean that. But if you can't do anything about it I'm going to," I said. 

"Meaning what? There are a lot of women who I know would gladly give him some relief if they weren't all officers." 

"I'm going to bring him a hooker," I said. 

"We're not running a whorehouse here," the orderly said, frowning. 

“I'm not asking you to do anything except give me a time frame when he won't be bothered by any of the staff." 

The orderly looked at his chart. 

“Well… last medication is around 2000 hours. They'll probably wake him up around midnight to give him a sleeping pill." 

"Thanks." 

"Look, if it goes wrong, I didn't have anything to do with it, and I don't know anything about it," he said. 

"Right, I'll take full responsibility," I assured him. 

I went back to Bucky's room and told him I would be gone for a little bit and left him wondering what I was up to. I got a cab and went to the Dragonfly which fronted as a bar for the whorehouse in back. I never knew why they called it a front because prostitution was rampant in Saigon. I told the cab driver to wait. The madam approached me at the bar before I'd taken my first sip of beer. 

"How you doin' tonight?" she greeted me. 

"Good," I said. 

"Look for some company?" 

"Could be," I said. 

She looked around the bar at her girls circulating through the place. 

"How 'bout that pretty one over there by the door?" she asked nodding to the door leading back to the rest rooms. 

"Red dress?" 

"Yes." 

"Okay, but I need to take her with me," I said. 

"Oh, I don't let girls go out of bar," she said. 

"It's for a buddy, he's in the hospital. She would have to go to the hospital and pose as his girlfriend." 

"In hospital? How he able to do anything?" she asked. 

"Trust me, his equipment wasn't damaged," I assured her. 

She went over to talk to the girl. I saw the girl shaking her head. Madam said something to another girl standing close by then came back. 

"She not want to go. But other girl will go." 

"Okay, if they'll change dresses," I said. 

"What?" 

"I want her to wear the red dress that the other one's got on," I said. 

She went back to talk to them and after some discussion they got it settled among themselves. The two girls went in back and changed dresses. I bought some condoms while I waited. I paid the madam and the girl, Ling, and I got in the cab and headed for the hospital. We made a feeble attempt at conversation but I wasn't much into conversing with prostitutes, especially one that I was hiring to take my place. I mean, what do you say to a whore... hey, what's the biggest cock you ever took? 

I winked at the orderly as we walked by the desk. His eyes bugged out when he saw the girl in the sleek red dress. Bucky was lying with his eyes closed but he wasn't asleep and he opened his eyes when he heard us come in. 

"Hey, man," he said. 

He blinked when he saw the girl. 

"This is Ling. She's come to visit you," I said. 

"Ling. Hello!" he said, his eyes raking up and down her shapely body encased in the tight, red dress. 

Yeah, she was a knockout. I didn't know how old she was. Vietnamese came in two ages; old and young. A thirty-year-old man could look seventeen, a forty year old woman could look eighty. Ling looked like a teenager but I couldn't tell how old she was. Right then it didn't matter. I looked at my watch. 

"You've got till midnight," I told Bucky. 

His confused scowl turned into a wide grin as he realized why I'd brought Ling to see him. 

"Man, did you clear this with somebody?" he asked, with an edge of excitement in his voice. 

"Not really. She's your girlfriend," I said. 

I handed him a condom, a foolish gesture because both of his hands were bandaged. 

"I can't put that on," he said. 

"She will," I said. 

"Or you could," he said with a leering grin. 

I handed the condom to Ling then walked over to the door. 

"Sorry about this, but I have to guard the door," I said. I turned to face the door with my toe against it. 

"Oh, my!" Ling exclaimed, and I knew she'd gotten a look at Bucky's cock. 

"Ohhh, myyyy!” she exclaimed again and I knew he must be getting hard. 

"Ooohhhhhhhh," Bucky moaned, and I could only imagine what she was doing to him. 

"Ohh, you have such soft, delicate hands." 

She was putting the condom on him. 

Looking at a door is boring as shit, especially when something like that is going on behind you. I stole a glance over my shoulder to see Ling taking off her clothes. The dress, to be more exact. I watched her. She stepped out of the dress and she was naked. She wasn't wearing anything at all under the dress. God she was stunning; her tawny body was flawless. I turned back to the door. 

"Will you hurt if I get on bed?" she asked. 

"Not so I would notice," Bucky said. 

I heard the bed creak softly as she climbed up on it. I could picture her straddling him, lowering her smooth, olive-tone butt to his cock, taking his huge cock up her pussy. 

"Ohhhhh, yeahhhhh," Bucky groaned. 

He was no doubt in her, part way at least. 

"Ooohhhh, yesss, naby!" 

Maybe all the way in her now. 

"Oh my God, so big!" Ling exclaimed. 

"Yeah, but you like it," Bucky said. 

"Oh, yes, I like. I never had one so big, though," she said. 

I didn't know if he was all the way in her but the bed began to creak softly, announcing that he was fucking her, or she was fucking him. He confirmed it. 

"Oh, yeah, honey, do it! Ride that big cock. Ohh, fuck man." 

I was breaking out in a sweat. 

"Ohhh, Ling, Baby, you are awesome!" Bucky moaned.   
"Ohh, shit, yeah, ride it... ride it all the way... down! Awww, fuucckkkkk!" 

He needed to tone it down but I didn't say anything; I liked hearing him. 

"Hey you don't have to stand with your nose in the door," Bucky told me. "You can watch if you want to. Ling doesn't care if you watch, do you?" 

"I not care if you don't," she said. 

I took them up on it. I turned around and put my back to the door to hold it shut. Ling was seated all the way down on his cock, twisting her butt around in circles, with her tiny hands clasped over his broad, thick pecs. It was hard to imagine that her tiny body had his huge cock up inside her. Bucky had a big goofy smile on his face. 

"Awhh, I don't believe you did this for me, fucker," he said. 

"What are buddies for?" I said. 

It was the most exciting thing I'd ever seen. The tiny girl sitting on top of his massively muscled body, riding her flawlessly smooth butt up and down on his huge cock. From behind I could see her pussy when she rose up, stretched unmercifully around his girth. He groaned in agony with every stroking inch. I was amazed how her body accepted his tall, thick manhood. Her beauty matched his, or his matched hers; they were a perfect couple and I had the weirdest thought that they would be ideal to make sex-marriage videos, or high-class porn. He had invited me to watch; I had to get closer. I shoved a heavy chair against the door. It wouldn't block it but it would give me enough time to stop anyone from coming in. 

I moved over to the bed where I could get a better view from the front. Ling's pussy was smooth as a baby's butt, the pouting lips distended around the thick hunk of meat, so far that her clit was exposed. I was close enough that Bucky reached out and touched my arm. 

"Man, I don't know how I'm ever going to repay you for this. I'm gonna owe you big time," he said. 

"I'll think of something," I said with a sly grin. 

"Ohhh... Ohhh... Ohhh... Ease up, honey, I don't want to come yet," he told her, gritting his teeth. I wished I had a camera to capture the absolute beauty of the two engaged in such a sensual act. They were absolute male and female sexual perfection. 

After a few minutes he suddenly let out another gasp but choked on it. He grimaced and gritted his teeth but I couldn't tell if he was trying to hold off again or if he was working it up, or already losing his load. His body lurched, his hips jolted his loins hard against her and the bed shook and banged against the wall. He was coming. She rode it out like a tiny cowgirl on a wild stallion, till he settled still, then she continued to ride slowly up and down his cock for a couple more minutes. 

"Ohh, you shoot a lot. I feel it," she said, but I thought it was a line she used. He had a condom on. 

"I've been saving it up," he joked. 

"You want me to stop?" she asked as she settled onto his thighs. 

"Not unless you want to. I could do this all night," Bucky said. 

"You still hard," she said. 

"Very hard." 

"We do again. No extra," she said and began riding up and down his cock again. 

He fucked her again, or she fucked him, for a long time. I was getting uneasy. I knew how he was; after he shot one load he could go on forever and I thought we might be pressing our luck. I went back to the door but stood with my back to it so I could watch. Ling was indeed getting as much out of it as Bucky was, fucking his big cock for him. She bounced up and down on it, her head flung back on her shoulders as she fingered her clit at the same time. 

"I wish I could do that for you, Baby," Bucky told her, holding his bandaged hands up helplessly. 

"Oh, you doing plenty, soldier," she told him. 

Bucky almost cringed at being called a soldier but he didn't say anything. How was she to know? Shit, just listening to them talk was turning me on. I went back over to the bed and in a sudden surge of lust I put my hand down at her pussy and replaced her finger with my own on her clit. She squealed with delight as I rubbed and flicked her clit with my fingertip. 

"Suck her tits, too. Help me out here," Bucky urged. 

I leaned in and clamped my mouth over her nearest tit. She whinnied softly as I flicked her nipple and applied suction to her firm breast. She was small but firm and I was able to cover most of her tit with my mouth. 

"Oh, yeah, fuck, this is hot, all three of us," Bucky said. "Fuck, I always wanted to do a three way." 

After a while Bucky shot off again but remained up to the task of finishing her off when she begged him not to stop. I kept sucking her tits and working on her clit and between the three of us, she had a volcanic orgasm. I was excited that I was a part of it with Bucky. Her body glistened with sweat and she wavered unsteadily in the aftermath, and I thought if she hadn't been impaled on the stake of meat she might have toppled off the bed. I helped her raise up off of his cock then down off the bed and steadied her while she put the dress back on. When she was dressed she kissed me on the cheek then stepped over and kissed Bucky on the mouth. He kissed her back, big time, and for a long moment, I began to wonder if she might climb back on. 

"I'm going to see her out," I told him. 

I walked her outside where I gave her another twenty bucks. 

"Thanks," I said. 

"Thank him. I should not charge him," she said, laughing. 

"You earned it," I told her. 

I went back to Bucky's room. He lay with his chest still heaving, his abs rippling with each breath and the widest smile I'd ever seen on his handsome face. 

"Looks like she winded you," I joked. 

He could barely talk. 

"Fuck, man....I....needed....that. Thanks. Thanks a lot. And thanks for helping me out with her," he managed to gasp. 

"Don't mention it," I said. 

Frankly, I'd enjoyed it immensely. His cock lay stretched up across his stomach, still encased in the come-filled condom. It was bloated with his two loads. 

"You gotta take care of that for me," he said, nodding to his cock. 

"Naw, I'm gonna leave it and let the orderly take care of it," I said. 

"Fuck, you are! If the night nurse comes in instead of the orderly, she'll have my balls for breakfast." 

I had to laugh at his panic. I put the chair back in front of the door. I didn't want anyone walking in to see me touching his cock. I carefully pulled and milked the condom off his rubbery shaft, trying not to spill any of his cum. I got it off and his cock lay wet and sticky across his hip. Then I did the most foolish thing. I leaned down and sucked his cock all the way down my throat and sucked him dry and cleaned the come off. 

"Ohh, Jesus, you're going to get me started again," he groaned. 

I held the condom up. It hung heavy with his semen. It was over a quarter full. 

"I know you come a lot but this is ridiculous." 

"It's two loads," he said. 

"And it's been quite a while." 

"It's enough cum for a whole damn squad." I swung it around. 

"I've got the most awful urge to tie this off and drape it over your face and leave." 

"No, please, don't do that," he begged, laughing. 

I laughed and tied off the end of the condom. 

"Come on man, don't... you wouldn't do that to a buddy." 

"What if I turn it up and empty it all over your face," I said with a wicked grin. 

"No! Shit, no, don't do that!" 

Instead, I put it carefully in my pocket. 

"What are you going to do with it?" he asked. 

"I'll think of something. Maybe have it for a midnight snack," I said. 

"Fuck, I don't know if that's hot or sick," he said, laughing. "Thanks again, buddy, I really needed that. It was terrific. Even more so that you joined in." 

"You needed my help," I said with a shrug. "But Ling was an emergency measure, just don't get to liking it too much," I joked. 

"Don't worry, I'm gonna thank you proper when I get out of here," he assured me with a small smile. 

"I gotta go," I said. 

"Yeah, thanks again." 

I patted his thigh and left and walked down the hall to the nurse's station. 

"Get everything taken care of?" the orderly asked. "For tonight," I said. "But he's going to be in that same condition by morning. You'll have to take care of it." 

"What do you want me to do about it?" 

"I don't know, jack him off, give him a blow job or something," I said jokingly. 

"Sorry, he's just going to have to suffer through it," the order said emphatically. 

I walked along the street holding the condom in my cargo pocket, wondering what do to with it. I couldn't take a come-filled condom back to the barracks, but I hated to get rid of it. But my pocket felt damp. I turned down a dim alley to be alone and took the condom out. It was still warm. I squeezed it a few times, tingling at the sheer power of him that I was holding in my hand. I looked around as I untied the knot. This was nuts, but I couldn't let the stuff go to waste. I brought the condom up to my face and turned it upside down over my mouth. The still-warm come literally flooded in one hard gush into my mouth. I leaned back against the wall as I stripped the condom with two fingers and swirled the warm semen around in my mouth. I savored it for a long moment then swallowed. I still didn't want to throw the condom away. It was like a sacred vessel to me. I held it up, marveling at the size of it. It was an extra-large size to begin with and he had stretched it all out of shape. After several moments I left the alley carrying the taste of him with me, still with the condom in my pocket. 

About a block from the main gate I stopped in the shadows and carefully hung the condom over a tiny tree limb. I thought it needed to be on display, as a trophy. I smiled as I thought of people walking by and marveling at the size of the thing and them wondering what horse of a man had filled it with his man meat. I should've left his load in it; they would've really marveled at that. 

I was awake much of the night with the visions of Ling mounted atop Bucky's muscular body, riding his big cock. I wished desperately that I could have taken her place.

~o~

I visited Bucky every night he was in the hospital but I didn't bring him any more prostitutes. He asked about Ling but I put him off with a promise that I would treat him to a night at a whorehouse when he was released.

"Fuck, man, I can't wait that long. It's been over two weeks," he groaned, squirming in his bed. Some part of me was enjoying his agony. 

"Well, you're going to be good and primed when you get out," I said, without sympathy.

~o~

There was a cute orderly on duty one night and I kidded him about taking care of Bucky.

"Are you taking good care of my man?" I asked. 

"Aww, he's taking care of me all right," Bucky put in. 

"Just look at those big, full lips. Nicest pair of lips I ever had sliding down my cock." 

The kid's face turned a soft pink and I wondered if maybe Bucky had hit a nerve. But the kid took it in stride. He scanned the clipboard in his hand and said, "Receiving blow jobs isn't written anywhere in your orders." 

Then he looked at me. 

"He's your man, I guess you're going to have to take care of him." 

"Will you guard the door?" I asked daringly. 

He laughed. 

He didn't know if I was serious or joking and that's the way I intended it. 

But he came right back. "I will if I can I watch," he said, I thought trying to pin me down to being serious or maybe he was just kidding around. 

But then we both let it go. It was too touchy a subject to even approach any more seriously. I guess I didn't realize just what bad shape Bucky was in ‘til I was there one night when the other orderly was on duty; the one who had let me slip Ling into Bucky's room. 

"How's the big guy doing?" I asked casually as I swung by the station. 

"We would all do a lot better if you would bring that little gal in the red dress back for a visit," he said. 

I stopped and turned around, surprised. “

Has he been asking for her?" 

"No, I'm asking for her," he said. 

Now I was really curious. 

"Yeah, I know he didn't tell you," the orderly said. 

"Tell me what?" I asked. 

"He had a wet dream the other night." 

"No shit!" 

I stood there with my mouth open for a moment before I broke out laughing. I laughed like hell. 

"No. No, he didn't pass that bit of news on to me," I said, still laughing. “

What a fuckin' mess. I thought he'd pissed the bed till I lifted the sheet up. It looked like somebody had poured a quart of white gravy all over his stomach. Shit, he shot off enough for a whole Godamned platoon. I didn't know any one man was capable of firing off a load that big." 

I was still laughing. 

"Thanks, you made my day," I told the orderly. 

I headed down the hall to Bucky's room. He had his eyes closed but he wasn't asleep. 

"Hey, fucker," he said, without opening his eyes. 

"How're you doing?" I asked. 

"Okay." He opened his eyes. 

He didn't sound okay and he didn't look okay in his eyes. He sounded down. 

"You sound like you need to get laid," I said. 

"Climb on." 

"The orderly said I could sneak Ling back in," I said. 

"He said that? No shit?" 

"Well, actually, he said I needed to bring her; said it would make his job easier." 

He gave me a funny look before it soaked in. 

"Aww, man, he told you about that?" he groaned. 

I broke out laughing. It took a minute before he even smiled, but then he did, and then he laughed with me. Just then the orderly walked in with a clipboard in his hand. 

"Hey, fuckhead, you're not supposed to tell everything that goes on here," he growled. 

The orderly lifted the sheet and peered under it then made a notation on Bucky's chart. 

"What the hell are you looking for? What're you doing?" Bucky asked. 

"Hey? Fuck, you didn't put that on my chart!" he blurted. 

"Had to," the orderly said. 

"I'm required to note any significant activity of the patient. And believe me, that was significant activity." 

"Shit, man, don't put that on my chart; it'll become part of my permanent record," Bucky said. "Come on, didn't you ever have a wet dream?" 

"Not since I was about thirteen," the orderly said dryly. 

"Well, there wasn't anything significant about it," Bucky complained. 

"I've been doing this for three years now, and that's the first time I ever had to deal with a wet dream," the orderly said. "And nobody I've talked to has either." 

"Aww, fuck! You told everybody? Jesus, man, you didn't have to make such a big deal out of it. It was a wet dream, for chrissakes." 

"It was a flood, is what it was," the orderly said. 

I was about to choke on my laughter. I didn't think the orderly had made any kind of notation on Bucky's chart. 

"Listen, couldn't you just roll a condom down over his dick and you wouldn't have to worry about it if it happens again," I suggested as seriously as I could. 

"But then somebody would have to take the condom off," the orderly said. 

"Okay, I've had enough of your shit," Bucky growled at the orderly. "What're you in here for, anyway?" 

"Making my rounds." 

"Well, make your fuckin' rounds somewhere else." 

I didn't know how the orderly managed to walk out of the room with a straight face. I couldn't keep a straight face myself. 

"You're about to die laughing, why don't you just let it out," Bucky said. 

"You gotta admit, it's pretty hilarious," I said. 

"I'm going to talk to the head nurse and have it taken off my chart," he said. 

"You're actually going to talk to the head nurse? That's going to be embarrassing." 

"Better than having a wet dream on my permanent record," he said. I was sure he would have crossed his arms and pouted if he could.

"Don't," I said, seriously. 

"I'm not going to let it stand," he said. 

"Don't do it," I said again. "I don't think he really made any notation on your chart." 

"What makes you say that?" 

"Well, if he did, and if he really talked to anyone else, you would have everybody in here giving you shit about it." 

He thought about it for a minute. 

"Maybe you're right. But I'm going to make sure there's nothing on there." 

"I'll do it," I said. 

"And why should I trust you any more than I trust that dickhead?”

"Hey, I think it's hilarious, but I wouldn't do that to you," I said. "I'll take care of it." 

"Are you going to bring Ling again?" he asked. 

"No." 

"You're a cruel, heartless bastard."

~o~

"I saw a note on your chart that you're being released tomorrow."

"No shit! Fuck, that's great! I wonder why that little prick didn't tell me." 

"Maybe he's not supposed to. Or maybe he's just a prick." 

"Man, it's gonna be great to get out of here and back to my unit," he said. 

I was a little disappointed but not surprised that his foremost thought was getting back to his unit and his job. 

"You can't wait to get back out there, can you?" I said softly.

"It's what I do," he said. 

"Are you still going to be reassigned?" I asked. 

"I don't know. Probably, if those VC are still giving them trouble."


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve challenges himself, confronts the feels. 
> 
> Bucky’s just being Bucky.

Chapter Six

Sgt. Castle, Army Ranger

The day Bucky was to be released from the hospital for duty I made arrangements for a pass so we could slip away and meet at the hotel before he reported back. We had decided to skip Brock's. I knew he would be ready for me. Long overdue, actually…and I was damn ready for him. I had visions of him fucking me like crazy the whole damned night, and working in a couple of suck sessions even though he was always hot for my ass. He never understood the pleasure I got from sucking his cock, or how I developed such a taste for his cum; he only knew that I loved it.

I was all primed as I walked into his room. He wasn't there. I rushed down to the nurse's station. There was a different orderly on duty; one I'd never met. 

"Hey, there was a Navy SEAL in room 201… down the hall… name was Barnes." 

"He was released. Two guys from his unit came to pick him up," the orderly said. 

I was crushed. It was all I could do to keep my tears from falling. I left the hospital and walked along the streets, oblivious of the bustling nightlife around me. God, I felt so empty. I spent the next few weeks in limbo, worrying, praying, wondering. 

I did my job because that's what I was trained to do but I felt like a zombie. There had been long absences before but I had a terrible feeling about this one. Every prisoner they brought in, I wondered if Bucky had been the one to capture him. I even dug out a picture I had of Bucky and used it in my interrogations, showing it to each prisoner to see if there was any reaction. None of them seemed to recognize him. 

I spent more than my share of time at Brock's, waiting, drinking, praying that he would show up, praying harder that he was all right. Surely, he would contact my unit if he could, but still, I sat at the bar in Brock's and drank myself into a numbness that would let me sleep. If he could contact me—that was what bothered me. What if he couldn't contact me for some reason? Despite my concern for Bucky, or maybe because of it, I was getting hard-up, and my mind wandered to Peter, the young sailor I had broken in. 

I asked Brock about him. 

"I had to kick him out," Brock said disgustedly. "He was coming onto guys, shit, acting like a two-bit whore. Some guy decked him for making a pass at him. I told him not to come back." 

Then he must have realized my reason for asking. 

"Look, I don't usually do this sort of thing, but I know what you're going through. If you're interested… you know, as a distraction…," he said, nodding and glancing discreetly down the bar. 

I looked down the bar to see a burly Army sergeant sipping beer from a bottle and watching the goings-on behind him in the mirror. 

The guy was big; maybe fifty pounds bigger than me or Bucky, with a thick bull neck and huge arms sticking out of his uniform shirt. I guessed him to be about forty; old enough to be my dad. I had never had any such thoughts about my dad, or older guys in general, and I was surprised at the tremor of perverted excitement that went through me at the sight of this big, older stud. 

"Are you sure?" I asked quietly, with a sudden tingling in my loins. "I mean, I wouldn't wanna have that guy deck me.”

"Would I steer you wrong?" Brock said. 

"I've never seen him in here before," I said. 

"He just arrived in country a couple of weeks ago." 

"He's damned intimidating," I said. 

"He can be, so I hear," Brock said. 

"Have you been with him?" I asked. 

"No," he said with a surprised scowl. "I could count on one hand the number of guys I've been with who come in here, and even those, I didn't meet here. It's just not good business. But how long have you known?" he asked with a curious smile. 

"I didn't. It was all hopeful suspicions and wishful thinking," I said. 

Brock smiled, nodding. Then he looked down at the soldier again. 

"He's old enough to be my dad," I observed. 

I had never talked like that, so openly, with Brock, nor had he ever been so open with me, but by that time, he knew all about Bucky and me, and now I knew about him. 

"If you can't get past the age difference," Brock said with a shrug. 

"No, it's not that, I— I wouldn't know how to meet him, he's so damned intimidating," I said, quick enough that Brock could tell that age wasn't a major factor. In fact, it was sort of intriguing to me. "How does he operate?" I asked. "I mean, how are you sure about him?" 

Brock laughed, shaking his head. 

"Shit, you're acting like a high school virgin trying to attract the attention of the quarterback for the prom." 

"It's not been that long since I was a high school virgin," I said. 

"I've done all I can do for you, steering you in his direction. You're on your own," Brock said, holding up both hands in a defensive gesture, then he walked away. 

I wished he would at least introduce us, but that would look weird. I didn't think offering to buy the guy a beer would go over too well either. The longer I sat there, the hotter the guy looked. I stole glances at his thighs bulging against his pants and tried to imagine them, hairy and hard and muscular, locked around my head. 

Setting Bucky aside for the moment, I was horny for some hard, hot sex and this big stud looked like he could deliver. But he wasn't acting like he was interested, not in me nor anybody else in the place. He seemed like he was in his own little world. I was beginning to wonder if Brock was off base. Then I got my break when he waved Brock over. 

"Get me another cold one," he said. "And set one up for everybody at the bar." 

"Yes, sir, sergeant," Brock said. 

So maybe that was how the guy operated, except that there were three other guys at the bar besides him and me, so there was no reason to believe that he was buying me a beer for any particular reason. While Brock was setting cold beers up on the bar and telling everybody it was from the sergeant at the end of the bar, the sergeant pulled out a wad of money and slapped it on the bar, then slid off the stool and headed for the restroom. Brock glanced at me. It was a pretty common way to meet up with someone but it was all I knew to do. 

I headed for the restroom. 

He was standing at the urinal, his thick thighs spread apart, his big hard butt flexed inside his pants. He took up damn near the space of two urinals but I managed to squeeze into the third one, standing to his right. 

"Hey, thanks for the beer," I said. 

"Yeah, no problem," he said. 

I tried to keep my eyes fixed on the graffiti on the wall in front of me. I dared a couple of furtive glances within my peripheral vision but that didn't reveal much because the sergeant held his cock in his right hand. I felt myself breaking out in a sweat, panicked that he would walk out of the restroom without us making connections. 

"Brock said you just got in country," I said. 

My voice sounded unsteady. Fuck I _was_ acting like a high school virgin. 

"Yeah, third tour," he said. 

"No kidding! Wow! How come they keep bringing you back?" 

"I come back on my own," he said as he gave his cock a few jerks. Then, without rhyme or reason, he switched hands to put his cock away. 

"After a while, the place starts feeling like home," he went on as he pulled his fly apart with his right hand and put his meat away with his left, but not before I got a brief look. I swallowed the lump in my throat. Fuck, even hanging, he was big around as a beer can. Hard, I imagined it was going to be the size of a ball bat. 

"You married?" I asked. 

"Not anymore," he said. 

"Hard to find a woman to put up with a guy going all over the world to fight somebody else's wars." 

"You were in Korea?" I asked. 

"Yep. Once in the middle of it, and again with the peace-keeping forces," he said. "Look, son, the urinal ain't no place to tell war stories," he added, sounding rather impatient. 

"Could I join you at the bar? I would like to hear more," I asked. 

"Okay with me." 

When we returned, I got my beer and went back to sit beside the sergeant. 

"Sgt. Castle," he said, putting out his hand. 

"Steve Rogers, Marines," I said. 

"Well, somebody's gotta be second best," he drawled. 

I didn't take offense at his remark. He wasn't the type to seriously put down any branch of the service and I wasn't about to suggest that he was second best. 

Things were looking up. I started asking more questions about his military past. He didn't volunteer anything but he answered my questions. 

"You said you weren't married anymore. How long were you married?" I asked. 

"About eighteen years." 

"That's a long time for it to break up," I said. 

"Like I said, she couldn't handle it. The straw that broke the camel's back was when my son enlisted. She blamed me for that. She could be right; he was always one to try to follow in my footsteps." 

"Nothing wrong with that," I said. 

"Depends on where my footsteps take him," he said. 

"Did he join the Army?" 

"Yeah. He's over here," he said. 

"No Shit! Where? Is he in your outfit?" 

"No. He's up north someplace. I never know where, for sure." 

"Have you seen him since you came in country?" I asked. 

"We had a chance to have a beer together right after I got here, before he shipped up north. Haven't seen him since.”

"I don't know, I would like to say it would be neat as hell, being over here with your dad, but I guess for you, it's got its downside. I'll bet you wish he was in your outfit so you could look out for him." 

"He's a Ranger. He don't need me to look out for him," he said. 

"Wow! I guess he doesn't. You must be proud as hell." 

"I am. I just wish his mother was." 

I was thoroughly enjoying talking to the man but there was still the itch in my balls that made me squirm on the stool, just being close to the guy. Friendly as he was, I didn't know how to get anything started. There was still the dad image for me, and maybe he was looking at me like his son. 

"You ready for another beer?" he asked. 

"Yeah, but let me buy," I said. 

"I still got money I need to get rid of. Reenlistment bonus," he said. 

When he twisted around on his stool to flag Brock, his knee came against my thigh. I didn't pull away and he didn't either. 

"For everybody again?" Brock asked. 

"Nope. Just me and him." 

Nursing the second beer, every time one of us twisted or turned on our stool, our legs would touch. We didn't exactly play kneesies but we didn't go out of our way to not touch. 

"I don't know about you, but I've had my limit," he said as he downed the rest of his beer. 

"Yeah, me too." 

"You doing anything after here?" he asked, and this time, letting his knee rest firmly against my thigh. 

"No." 

"Do you know the Trent?" he asked. 

"Yes," I said, surprised. 

"I've got a room there. Number 216. Come on up if you want to. I'll pick up a six-pack and we can drink ourselves into a stupor." 

"I'll pass on the stupor but I would like your company. I like talking to you," I said. 

"Give me ten minutes head start," he said. 

Ordinarily, despite the itching desire, I wouldn't have gone with him. There was no way of knowing if it was set-up. But Brock had vouched for him and I felt safe. And excited. He left and I nursed my beer for a few minutes. 

"No go, huh?" Brock said quietly as he picked up the empty bottle off the bar. 

"On the contrary," I said. 

"It's none of my business, but what do you want me to tell Bucky if he shoes up?" 

"Tell him I was in, then left. Try to find out when he's coming into Saigon again." 

The mention of Bucky gave me pause about going to meet Sgt. Castle. 

If I left and Bucky showed up, I would never forgive myself… but then, I could wait all night, or a week.

Shameful to say, but it was a case of a bird in the hand. And I took some comfort in knowing that Bucky would probably do the same thing. Still, I felt guilty the way the worry had so easily given way to lust. I called Brock to the end of the bar as I was leaving. 

"Listen, if Bucky does come in, tell him I'm at the Trent, room 216." Brock scowled at me. 

"That could be a hairy situation, him walking in on you and the sergeant," he said. 

"I'll deal with it," I said. "I can't take the chance of missing him." 

Excited as I was, I took my time walking to the Trent. I went in the back way, took the stairs that led up behind the storeroom where the desk clerk couldn't see me. I often wondered why they left the back door open, but I guess it was conducive to their business because a lot of guys used it. I tapped lightly on 216 and a gruff voice told me it was open. 

"Slide the bolt," the sergeant said as I went in. 

He was taking off his shirt, and I fumbled behind me for the bolt so I wouldn't have to take my eyes off of him. His T-shirt was stretched to the limit over his massive upper body. His chest muscles stuck out in two wide, thick slabs and his big nipples protruded against the thin material. The sleeves were stretched around his huge biceps and I could see his stomach muscles ripple when he moved. 

"Which team do you play for?" he asked. 

"Huh?" 

"What position do you play? Quarterback or center? Pitcher or catcher?" he asked. 

I finally caught on. 

"Any position," I said. 

"You're my kind of ball player," he said. 

"I wasn't sure, back at the bar," I said. "You're kinda intimidating." 

He laughed. 

"Go ahead, strip down," he said as he crossed his arms and tugged his T-shirt out of his pants. His lats spread out like bat wings when he peeled the shirt off over his head and his pecs settled on his rib cage with a little bounce when he lowered his arms. I couldn't help comparing him with Bucky. He was heavier muscled than Bucky and more hairy, with a thick mat of dark hair on his chest, a lighter flurry on his stomach and a dark trail separating the bricks of his ab muscles, leading into the waist of his pants. 

"Damn, I'll bet nobody gives you any shit," I said, openly admiring his bare upper body. I watched him undo his belt, his triceps and pecs snapping to attention. 

"I don't mind you looking, but I'd like for you to give me something to look at too," he said. 

Yeah, I was staring. 

I quickly pulled my shirt off and tossed it aside. 

"Fuckin' nice," he said with an admiring look. 

"I'm a lot smoother than you," I remarked. 

"Not a problem," he said as he bent over to unlace his combat boots. 

"How old are you anyway?" he asked as he pulled his boots off. 

"Nineteen. Almost twenty." 

"About my son's age," he said, but I couldn't read anything into it. 

"I hope that's not a problem," I said. 

"No. Why would it be? I like 'em young and full of cum," he said, laughing. 

He pulled off his pants and hung them over the back of the chair. The waistband of his white briefs pulled down in the front under the weight of his manhood, and the pouch shifted from side to side and bounced when he moved. I could hardly wait to see him naked. I was surprised when he put his boots back on and tied them up, then pulled his shorts off. Fuck, he looked awesome standing there naked except for his boots. His thighs were massive, coated with a light flurry of hair that thinned out and faded a little as it spread over his hard, heavy-muscled butt. 

"For the record, I only play offense," he said. 

"Yes, sir, coach, but I doubt I'll be able to put up much defense against you," I said. 

I wasn't exactly sure what he meant but I thought he was telling me that he was going to be in charge, I was going to be the water boy. Whatever, I wasn't going to argue with him. When he turned around facing me, I got an eyeful. He was hard, standing up at an angle, throbbing and quivering with each throb. 

"Holy shit," I swore softly, mentally comparing him with Bucky, who set the standard for studliness. Bucky was big; the biggest I'd ever seen, and Castle didn't match him in length, but he had the thickest cock I'd ever seen. Fuck, it was the most virile looking hunk of man meat I'd ever seen, with big, bluish veins that gave it an almost gnarled look. 

I felt my asshole tighten at the mere thought of the guy trying to fuck me. But he'd said he was playing offense, which likely meant that I was going to get fucked, like it or not. Not that I minded terribly; I was just a little scared. 

"Fuck, that's as intimidating as you are," I said. 

The sergeant laughed at my outburst at his cock. 

"That don't scare you, does it?" he asked 

"No, I— I just never expected to see anything so big; so big around. It looks as big as my wrist." 

"Let's see," he said, reaching for my arm. 

He clamped his hand around my wrist to get a measurement between his thumb and forefinger. He had big hands, and there wasn't much distance between them. Then he wrapped his hand around his cock. 

"Shit!" I swore. "It's bigger than my wrist!" 

"Not much," he said. 

Maybe the inch and a half that separated his thumb and forefinger wasn't much to him, but it calculated out to one huge cock. That wasn't counting the big, bluish veins scattered all around the surface that were going to take up room, nor the even larger head that was going to lead the charge in penetrating me. Still, I was excited, and I saw the excitement in his eyes as I peeled my shorts off and stood naked before him. 

Right away, he let me know that he was the boss, the coach, on offense. He clasped his big hands on my shoulders and pushed me to my knees. I swallowed hard, wondering how the hell I was going to handle the massive cock, let alone do it justice. He clamped his hands around my head so I would know what I was expected to do. I wet my lips and opened my mouth as far as I could; so far I thought my jaws might lock. I spread my lips around the curvature of the head, washing the precum off with my tongue. He tasted good. I stretched my lips the rest of the way around the head and locked them around the gristly rim, and my mouth was full. I went through the motions of sucking him, but there was too much cock to do it right. 

"I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna be able to suck you like I want to," I said. 

"You were doing fine with your tongue. I like tongue," he said. 

He locked his hands around my head again and began fucking my mouth. I wrapped one hand around the shaft of his cock to control his thrusts. If he got carried away, or went sadistic on me and slammed his cock into my throat, I was dead meat. 

"What we're gonna do is, I'm gonna blow you a load to get primed, then I'm gonna fuck you," he said. 

Okay, I thought. 

Who was I to argue with him; he was the coach. But I was scared out of my wits about being skewered on his big cock. After a while my jaw adjusted and I was able to suck him better. I think part of it was adding to my excitement by running my hands up and down his massive, hairy thighs, and feeling his thick pec muscles. But I still couldn't get much more than half of his cock in my mouth. I loved his body, though, and explored every inch of it that I could reach. I thought of Bucky as I sucked him and wondered just how I would handle it if he happened to walk in. More, I wondered how he would handle it. 

Castle left no doubt that he was the coach. He pulled his cock free and turned around with his butt in my face. He had a great ass; big and heavy and hard, and hairy; a lot more hairy than Bucky's. He grabbed my head and smashed my face in his butt. When my tongue made contact, he reached back and pulled his butt apart, exposing the hairy pit with his hole hidden somewhere at the bottom. I whinnied with excitement from being forced and having to search through the hair to find his hole. I found it and began tonguing his ass. 

"Awwhhh, yeahhh!" he moaned gruffly. "Oh, fuck, yeah, eat that ass." 

I rimmed him for a while then he turned around and fed me his cock again. 

"I didn't tell you, but you're also gonna swallow my load," he said. 

I nodded in obedience without missing a lick. It never entered my mind to take his load in my mouth then spit it out. Besides, his precum tasted good and I hoped his cum would, too. God, he tasted good and I was absolutely loving the feel of his monster-thick meat in my mouth. 

He didn't tell me when he was ready to go off but I could tell. His big butt muscles flexed hard in my hands and his powerful thighs trembled. His cock was like a cannon. It swelled out and got hard as steel, then bolted and bucked in my mouth, then went off. I was nearly jolted backwards by the power of his load shooting out the thick barrel. The second blast filled my mouth and the third was running out the corners of my mouth. 

"Swallow," he ordered. 

I gulped it down and swallowed as fast as he gave it to me. He didn't come as much as Bucky, but it was thick; I could smash the globs between my tongue and his cock and get the full flavor of him before I swallowed. He didn't linger, maybe because his legs were shaking so bad. He pulled out and cupped his hands under my arms and pulled me to my feet; actually he lifted me off my feet. 

"You're damned good," he said. 

"Thanks," I said in a weak voice. 

I was so glad I'd pleased him, but I knew what was coming next. He went to the bed and stretched out on his side, moving over to make room for me. I saw a small tube of lube that he'd slipped under the pillow. When I joined him on the bed, he pushed me onto my stomach but then tilted my head up and kissed me. That surprised me. It was a hard, passionate kiss; not of tender passion, but the passion of one man for another. In his case, it was more lust than passion. I kissed him back, just as hard. I thought he was going to suck my tongue out. 

At the same time he was playing with my butt. He was rough, squeezing my butt muscles so hard it hurt, but I didn't complain. He broke the kiss and stuck his fingers in my mouth. "Give me some spit," he said. I did and he used his slick fingers to probe my ass. He wasn't brutal, but he wasn't gentle either about shoving his long, thick finger deep in my ass. I wondered why he didn't use the lube. 

"Aawooohhh," I cried softly when he found my prostate. 

He twisted his finger around, stretching my hole. Then he gave me a second finger, and a third. He shoved hard, till I thought he might try to shove his entire fist inside me. I reached for the lube. Scared as I was, I wanted to feel that big cock boring into me, but I was also half afraid that he might try to fist fuck me, the way he was using his thick fingers. I didn't want him to do that. I found the lube. 

"Ah, you're ready for it," he said, laughing softly, when I held the uncapped tube out to him. 

"Yes. I know you're the coach, but your boy wants that big cock," I said. 

“Yeah— my boy," he said huskily. "Wish it was my boy," he added, his voice sort of trailing off. 

I didn't know what to make of his remark. Was he wishing that it was his own son lying here beside him, about to be fucked by his own dad? The idea jolted me a little, but it excited me, too. 

"I'll be your boy for now," I offered. 

Not that I'd ever had any such thoughts about my father, but suddenly, in the heat of the moment, it excited me to think of him as a dad. Fuckin' weird, but I couldn't help it. 

"Yeah, let's get this all nice and slick for you, Son," he said gruffly, as he lubed up his cock then worked his fingers around inside me. 

The more I tried to psych myself up for it, the more scared I got. He was going to tear me apart. I didn't know if he sensed my fear, but when he moved on top of me, he clamped one hand over my mouth. 

"Spread your legs out more," he ordered. 

I did as he said, offering myself up for the slaughter. 

His cock spread my butt muscles apart then I felt the heat of it against my hole, then felt the pressure behind it. He gave me a few nudges then bore down, hard and unrelenting. I tried to relax as I felt my asshole give but he didn't wait. I pushed out on my asshole and the next instant he burst through the tight sphincter muscle and sank his cock all the way to his balls. I reared up, gaping wide-eyed from the pain, clenching my butt muscles hard against the intruder. It hurt so bad it took my breath away; I couldn't even cry out. I think I might have screamed but I heard no sound; I just felt it reverberate in my head. 

I saw stars, then blackness hovering over me; God, _it hurt!_

For the first time, if I could have, I think I would've tried to get away, but he had me pinned so tight I couldn't move. 

"Hang in there, Son, it's gonna start feeling good in a minute," he said. 

My asshole clenched angrily around the thick intruder and thankfully, after a very long moment I could feel the pain gradually subside. His cock was like a hot steel bar inside me, rubbing against my prostate each time it throbbed, and that massage effect soon emerged over the pain, and finally subdued it. When he could see that I was calming down he removed his hand from my mouth. 

"Feeling better, huh?" he said, hovering over me like a giant. 

"It's not hurting…so bad," I conceded nervously, but I kept my butt muscles clenched as tight as I could. 

"It'd be a lot easier on you if you relax your butt muscles. You're all tensed up and that's making it worse," he said. 

I tried and the Sergeant bore down harder, twisting his hips around, causing his cock to lob around inside me, really stretching me. He picked up on my moans and eased his cock out a few inches. I groaned louder when he shoved it back in. It felt like he was splitting me apart with his cock. 

"I'm gonna fuck you now, Son," he said as he pulled all the way out then plunged back through my hole. 

"Awwhhh," I cried softly, tears prickling my eyes. 

He did it again, and again, till I was anticipating the plunge, even lifting my butt up to meet his thrusting cock. Then he drove in hard and deep and began fucking me. 

"Relax your butt muscles so I can get in deeper," he said. 

I followed the Sergeant's orders and he skewered me deeper. I was mesmerized by the big man hovered over me, driving his huge cock into my body. He slid his powerful arms under my armpits to get a grip on my shoulders then let his weight down on me. I loved his hairy chest against my back, and the feel of his hairy thighs rubbing against mine. He was a magnificent man and I found myself wondering what his son looked like; wondering if he was imaging that I was his own son that he was fucking. I don't know how long he fucked me. He seemed to just go on and on, without any visible effort of trying to hold off. I wondered if this was part of the reason he wasn't married anymore, if perhaps his wife wasn't able to accommodate his size on a regular basis, or hold up under the incessant pounding of his cock. 

As for me, he had me on the verge of cumming almost from the start after the pain went away. His cock was so big that no nerve ending could escape the steady friction and my prostate was under siege with every thrust and throb. I didn't try to hold off either. I ached to let it go, and it felt like I might explode from the pressure building up inside me. 

"I wanna come," I gasped finally. "I have to come, sir, I can't stand it; I feel like I'm going to explode. Please, Sergeant, make me come. You can fuck me again, but God, I need to come." 

He didn't say anything. 

He just kept fucking me, except he would throw in an extra twist and turn with his hips and corkscrew his cock into me. He was playing hell with my prostate and my asshole, and I was about to go berserk with my face buried in the pillow. I was moaning and whimpering like a teenage virgin being fucked by the fullback. 

He built me up then leveled off; then took me a little higher, and leveled off again. He was torturing me. I was ready to beg him. Suddenly, he rose up and put one arm around my stomach to pull me up to my hands and knees. I could feel the cool breeze of the fan against my sweaty back. 

"You wanna come?" he said, clamping his big hands around my hipbones in a vise-like grip. 

"Oh, God, yes, sir, Sergeant, please, you're driving me crazy. You can fuck me again, but please, just make me come." 

He shoved my legs apart with his knees, which forced my hips up and my butt at a tilt, and started fucking me hard. 

Really hard. 

"Ohh, my God," I groaned, tossing my head back, as his cock found new territory inside me. 

I could feel his sweat dripping onto my butt, and the room resounded with the loud smack-smack-smack of his hard loins against my ass. Next, he took a vise-like grip on my shoulders and began pounding me like a jack-hammer. He fucked me so hard and fast that I was afraid the bed might collapse. I couldn't breathe; he didn't give me time to breathe. All I could do was hang onto the steel frame of the headboard and pray for a climax. 

Finally, it happened. The sensation of exquisite ecstasy overtook me and I suddenly felt like I was imploding and exploding at the same time. I started to cry out but quickly buried my face in the pillow to stifle it. I choked and groaned and nearly sobbed as my climax wracked my body, only vaguely aware of the great ropes of hot semen streaking up across my chest and the back of my arms. I was more aware of the Sergeant blowing his load inside me; the heat, the power, of being filled with his cum. And at some point, his meaty fist wrapping around my cock to jack me off with my own cum that he used as lube. 

Maybe I blacked out for a minute, I didn't know. I only knew that I opened my eyes to his rugged, handsome face hovered beside mine, smiling with a trace of concern. 

"You okay, Son?" he asked. 

"I think so," I gasped breathlessly. 

"You sure emptied the tanks," he said. "Shit, you come like a pony." 

I shoved my knees back to lie flat on the bed, and Sgt. Castle rested his considerable weight on top of me. I tightened my asshole around his cock to see if it still worked. 

"Am I too heavy? Want me to pull out?" he asked. 

"No, you don't have to. This is fine," I said. 

It was, but I couldn't lie under his weight very long. When I squirmed under him he rose up, slowly extracting his thick cock from my ass. He left a hole gaping so wide that I could feel the cool air up inside me.

He wasn't done. Over the next few hours he really got into calling me son when he fucked me and force-fed me his cock and referring to himself as dad, but I couldn't tell if he was really thinking of me as his own son, or if it was just a term between an older and younger guy. I definitely got the impression that he was comparing me with him. I decided I loved having sex with an older man, but there was just something too perverted about calling him, or even thinking of him as my dad. 

I was exhausted by the time we were finished for the last time. He laughed as I crawled to sit on the edge of the bed then tried to stand. He reached out to steady me. 

"You're not new to this," he said. 

"No," I said. "Well, I'm new to a cock that size." 

"Come on, I'll help you into the shower with me," he said. 

He steadied me to the shower and handed me the soap. I washed him, loving every minute of feeling his hard muscles. 

"You got a picture of your son?" I asked as we were getting dressed. 

He finished zipping up his pants then dug a picture out of his wallet and handed it to me. 

"Damn! You're right, he don't need anybody looking out for him," I said. 

He was ruggedly handsome, square jawed and steely eyed, a muscular neck and face. He looked tough, a lot like his dad. 

"He's the kind of guy you want covering your back," the Sergeant said. 

Yes, in more ways than one, I thought. 

"I'm sure glad he's on our side," I said. 

Yeah, I would definitely let him cover my back. 

"I'll bet he left some broken hearts back home," I said. 

Sgt. Castle smiled proudly. 

"He had so many girls after him. Not just girls, hell grown women, some of them married." 

"No kidding!" 

"Yeah, one of them was a real hot-to-trot mama. She was always making little passes and hinting around at me but I kept reminding her that I was a married man. Well, then one day she was hanging over the fence and my son was mowing the grass--had his shirt off and wearing his old gym shorts--and she said she guessed she was going to have to concentrate on him if she couldn't have me. He was already a big boy. Hell, he looked eighteen when he was fifteen. Couple of weeks after he did turn eighteen, I found out she'd nailed him." 

"How did you find out? Did he tell you? You didn't catch them, did you? Did you keep an eye on him?" 

"Naw, I didn't bother keeping a very close an eye on him. If it was going to happen, well, it was going to happen. I didn't catch them—wish I had, that'd been something to see—but no, she told me." 

"She came right out and told you she fucked your son?" 

"Yup. I think she was trying to get me to fuck her so she would leave him alone, but I still didn't weaken." 

"Was it just that one time?" I asked. 

"I don't know for sure, but I doubt it." 

"Well, I hope you get to meet up with him again real soon." 

I left the hotel alone, barely in time to make it back to base. My legs were shaking and I was walking funny. It felt like somebody had pulled a ball bat out of my ass and left a big, gaping hole. 

I admit, I looked for him every time I went back to Brock's, but Brock said he had shipped out to another unit to train the Vietnamese.

~o~

I was beginning to sink into a state of depression over Bucky. Brock was good about keeping tabs on everybody, and he hadn't heard a word of his whereabouts. At first I prayed but then abandoned the effort.

After that I cried. Yeah, more than one night, this big, tough Marine cried in his pillow. 

Then out of the blue, I got a call at the orderly room from Brock. I gasped when I heard his voice, and a hard pressure in my chest cut off my air. 

"What's up?" I managed to ask. 

"Good news," he said. 

I let the air gush out of my lungs in a great sigh of relief, and stifled my sob of happiness and relief. 

"Is he there?" I asked. 

"No, but somebody from his unit was in, and he's all right." 

"Where the hell has he been?" I asked. 

"Went someplace for some special training, for a special mission of some kind." 

"Jesus, they've got him so highly trained now, he can carry a bayonet in his ass," I said. 

"The guy delivered a message from him, for you; said he would be getting in touch as soon as he could." 

I bit my lip, trying to fight down my emotions over the phone. 

"Thanks, Brock," I said. 

"Yeah," he said. 

"You okay, buddy?" 

"I am now," I said. 

But I wasn't. 

I could barely keep my composure ‘til I got back to my bunk. When I did, I crawled under the blankets and put the pillow over my head and cried tears of relief and happiness. I didn't sit around the barracks waiting for a call. Sometimes the Army's communications wasn't that good, and I didn't trust it. I was at Brock's every night. Lenient as the CO was, the first sergeant reminded me that I was abusing my pass privileges. 

Then one night I walked in the door at Brock's and there he was, sitting at the bar, at the same stool, like it had been reserved for him. I stopped cold in my tracks at the door. I couldn't go in. I couldn't face him; not in the bar. I choked up just seeing him. I wasn't sure he had seen me, but Brock saw me just as I turned to walk out. I walked hurriedly to the park across the street and made my way down the winding paths that bordered the small ponds, to the bench hidden by the trees.

I sat down and hunched over and began sobbing so hard I thought my heart would rip loose. The son of a bitch, didn't he know how much I loved him? 

I pondered going back into Brock's, but thought better of it. I was in no condition, and I would be lousy company. Finally, I washed my face in the pond, and feeling down trodden and empty, I headed back to the barracks. The bustle in the streets helped ease the hurt, at least for the walk back. Saigon was like that; intoxicating. I walked up to the guard shack to show my pass. 

"You're back early," the guard said. 

He was used to seeing me come in barely before my pass expired. Not that it would have made any difference. Like I said, I was in good standing with the CO. 

"Yeah, I'm beat. Too many nights out in a row," I said, trying to sound nonchalant. 

I stepped out of the shack and walked toward the gate. 

"Hey, buddy." I froze in my tracks at the sound of the voice. 

I know it took me seconds to turn toward him. There he was, sitting on the edge of the wide stone and mortar base of the fence where the heavy steel posts were embedded. I walked over to him, too breathless to speak. 

"Brock said you left," he said. "How come you left?" 

I turned my head away. I couldn't look at him. I was afraid if I did, he wouldn't be there when I looked back. 

"I went looking for you. Couldn't find you, so I figured I would wait here," he said as he stood up. "I knew you would have to come out eventually. So why'd you just walk out like that?" 

My heart was pounding and my lungs didn't seem to work and there was an awful pressure building up in my chest. I was about to explode with emotions that would prove embarrassing to both of us. 

“Okay… maybe I shouldn't have come," he said quietly, talking low so the guard wouldn't overhear. 

I think he was embarrassed that it might look like we were having a lovers' quarrel. 

"I was…in the park, across the street," I said as I raised my head and looked at him. Our eyes met and I could see the bewilderment in his. 

The poor guy, he didn't know what the hell was wrong and I couldn't tell him. Suddenly, I shoved past him and walked several yards down the street in front of the compound. I heard him say something to the guard then heard his footsteps, catching up to me. 

"Hey, you might need this," he said, handing me my pass that he'd retrieved from the guard. 

I took the pass and stuffed it in my shirt pocket and kept walking. We walked for over a block without saying anything. I wanted to get somewhere, be someplace where I could let it all out if I couldn't control it. 

"You wanna tell me what the fuck is going on?" Bucky asked in a gruff, bewildered, impatient voice. 

"I don't know if I can explain it so you would understand," I said in a surly tone. 

I crossed the street, walking toward the park, and Bucky followed me. 

"Try me," he said. 

We ducked under the low hanging trees that all but hid the entrance to the back of the park. I found a secluded spot with a bench beside another small pond. I stood looking down at the pond for a long moment. 

"Look, if I've fucked up somehow, you gotta at least give me a chance to make it right," Bucky said. 

I turned to face him squarely. 

"You didn't fuck up. I'm the one who's fucked up. I get fucked up every time you leave and go back out there, to wherever it is you go, and I don't know where you're at or when you're coming back, or if you're coming back." 

"None of us knows that," he cut in. 

"The day you were discharged from the hospital, I went to meet you— I had a pass, and a room." 

"Geez, I'm sorry. But I couldn't help it. There were two guys there to pick me up, there wasn't time to see you or leave word." 

"I know," I said with a sigh. 

"Well, hey, I'm back, for what it's worth," he said I started to laugh, but choked on the lump in my throat instead. 

I thought I had my feelings buried, but they came up again like vomit. He didn't see it at first. He asked me again how come I left Brock's and that's when I lost it. I sat on the bench, hunched over with my face in my hands, and I lost it. I didn't feel a bit bad about crying, or embarrassed when Bucky sat down and put his arm across my shoulder. GIs cry all the time for various reasons. If anybody happened by, they would just think I had lost a buddy. 

"Jesus, Steve, what the hell…” 

"You stupid fuck, you don't have a clue what it means for you to be back," I managed. 

"Well, I sort of do," he said. 

But he didn't, not the way I meant it. 

"When I started to walk into Brock's and saw you there… Shit, I worried day and night and tried to tell myself that you were okay, and when I saw you sitting there, I was so fuckin' relieved and happy, I— I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. I would've embarrassed both of us, like now." 

"You're not embarrassing me," he said. 

His arm tightened across my shoulder, in a gesture of compassion that I'd never seen before. He held me till I was settled down, without saying a word. I didn't know what I expected him to say. Nothing, really. It was enough to just have his strong arm on my shoulder. 

"I'll do my best to make it up to you, if you'll let me," he said in a hoarse voice. It sounded like he was choked up himself. 

"You don't owe me anything," I said. “It's this war. This fuckin' war keeps getting in the way and screwing things up." 

"You wanna go fuck?" he asked in a low, mischievous tone. 

I choked on my laughter. 

"You know just what to say." 

"Well, there's not much that goes wrong in this world that a good fuck won't cure," he said. 

He was right, and somehow, his saying it made things all right for the moment.

~o~

We were leaving the Trent Hotel the next morning to part ways and return to our units when we came across a vender selling newspapers, sounding almost hysterical. I bought one to see what was going on. Hell, maybe the war was over. I must've gone pale when I saw the headline.

"Shit, look at this! Dwong has been assassinated!" 

I handed the paper to Bucky. Bucky took the paper to read the story. His face fell and he looked pale. We didn't know what impact it would have but of course it was big. 

"Jesus!" he swore softly and dropped the paper like it was hot. 

"What?" I asked. 

"Qui Nhon. He was assassinated at Qui Nhon," he said in a whisper. 

"I was at Qui Nhon." 

I looked at him, confused. He leaned against the side of the building for support. 

"Bucky, what's the matter?" 

"I took him out," he said quietly, staring blankly at me. 

"What?" 

"I shot the fuckin' president of Viet Nam." 

Now I was numb. News that a politician had been blown away wasn't particularly devastating to me, or even news at all for more than a day or two, but this was the president of the country, and Bucky was saying he had done it! 

"What're you talking about? They said you were sent someplace for special training." 

"And they just happened to have an assignment for me... another target... something that just came up, they said, and since I was there. The fuckers set me up. They used me as their assassin." 

"You didn't know?" 

"No. All they told me was that he was very big... a VC general... and I shouldn't miss." 

"How do you know it was Dwong?" 

"They had my position already picked out for me, down to the precise spot. Shit, man, a sniper always picks his own location. His entourage came down this narrow road and stopped in a small clearing and this so-called general got out of his vehicle... I supposed to take a piss.” 

He leaned down and picked up the paper and studied the photo. 

"But how do you know it was Dwong and not the VC general like they said?" I asked. 

"Hell, I didn't even know what the guy looked like till now." 

"I had him in my scope, man. I had his face right here," he said, holding his hand a few inches from his face. He looked down at the photo again. 

"It was that man's face. And the Colonel told me when I reported back; 'This is not a confirmed kill. This mission never happened.'" 

We stood there for a moment, both of us reeling in disbelief. 

"Hey, if somebody decided he needed to be taken out…," I said. 

"Don't you understand, dammit? I killed the president of a country!" he blurted. "That makes me a political assassin. My next payday, I will be getting paid as a political assassin." 

"Okay, you pulled the trigger. It was your steady finger, your sharp eye, your steel nerves, your brass balls, but you didn't pick the target. Somebody at the top did that. It makes you a Navy SEAL doing your job, following orders, not an assassin. What if you had known? Would you have refused to do it?” 

"I don't know. No... if somebody decided he needed to go, I couldn't refuse to follow the order." 

He started walking. I caught up and threw my arm across his shoulder. 

"You gotta deal with this, Bucky," I said. 

"They fuckin' used me, dammit! The training was a farce. Fuck, I didn't need training, I'm the best they've got; they knew I was the best they could find to do the job. That's why they sent for me. They brought me to Qui Nhon for the sole purpose of carrying out an assassination." 

"Okay, you're going to take out President Dwong. You know it; they tell you up front. What's different?" 

"Well, for starters, I would've been so nervous, I probably would've missed," he said, half laughing. 

"Shit, if there was any chance of that they wouldn't have sent for you. Shit, you'll probably get a medal." 

"Didn't you read the story? He was shot, ambushed by unknown assailants. They don't give medals to unknown assailants. Besides, it didn't happen, remember? I shouldn't even be talking to you about it." 

"Well, you probably shouldn't mention it to anyone else," I said. 

We were at the intersection where we had to part ways. I almost offered to walk him a little further in his direction but it wasn't an appropriate thing to do for a SEAL. 

"Get some sleep when you get back," I told him. 

"Yeah." 

"When will you be back in town?" I asked. 

"I'll call you when I get back in," he said. 

"You're going out again, right away?" 

"It's what I do," he said. 

"You know sometimes I think I gotta feel your balls just to see how big and hard they are." 

"Not here," he said, laughing.

End of Part I

Exit Music: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUO8ScYVeDo>


End file.
